an abundance of apologies.

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i'm here outside your door

wondering if i should wake you

because i know you're in bed by

1 am.

but i can't bring myself to leave.

i need to amend these broken

promises & heal this relationship

before it completely dies.

i apologize for how i knew

you were sad but

i kept it to my fucking self,

unsure of how to handle the

situation.

it's my fault you landed in the

hospital

getting your wounds treated

then being thrown into a mental

institute.

i apologize for

the countless nights when you needed

me but i couldn't bring myself to

answer the phone.

i was just so scared of what else was

wrong in your life.

i apologize for

saying i was busy

when in reality i wanted to be alone.

you deserve so much better than i.

clues & ideas leave my mind

when i wonder

why you keep coming back

because i'm so horrid to you.

i wonder why you care about me so

when i treat you like shit,

probably making you think i hate

you.

but your door is right in front of me.

yet i'm still contemplating whether

i should knock and apologize

or run because i will feel guilty for

waking you.

because god knows i do not need

another reason to be sorry.

j.s

//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\

short & quick poem.

hope it's enough to satisfy your needs.

i'm extremely sorry i've been a no show.

i have basketball & every night leaves me sore & hurting & tired.

i decided to create another fanfic.

it's going to go along with 'pill place', as it is now called.

the books will be a part of the suicidal towns series that i'm going to start.

yay !

good night loves xo

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