Permission to escape - The Rogue Pack

Chapter 20 - Nightmares

Sam watched in horror as the silvered walls closed in around her, slowly threatening to crush her. She could feel her throat closing up as it became more difficult to breathe. Choking she forced herself to draw in a rasping breath. The air moved through her body, opening up her lungs, and yet she still felt the need to breathe, the need for freedom. A small black opening was set in the wall furthest from her and she moved towards it, gradually getting faster and faster as she realised she wasn't getting any closer. The gap, that slither of hope for escape, forever unattainable. As the ceiling started descending, she forced herself not to look, but keep running, her feet pounding into the uneven ground, her beat beating ferociously in her chest as she drew in ragged breaths.

Then the walls were upon her. Except this time, it wasn't cool steel that touched her arms, but rough, slimy stone. It scraped her arms, raising small scratches as she brushed against it. But then it grew closer, and she grunted as she felt it dig into her arms. Yet she forced herself to keep moving. She could no longer run, the pain prevented it. The ceiling suddenly dropped, flattening her to the ground, forcing her arms to scrape down the walls as she fell, opening deep gashes. Her blood oozed on the floor, the hard rocks jutting into her stomach. Gritting her teeth, Sam pushed herself along the floor, eyes fixated on the opening, desperate for escape.

Her desperation made her eyes glow red, as she used her Alpha power to drag herself along. Her arms were searing in pain now, and she could feel cuts opening up on her upper abdomen and shoulder blades from the stones around her. She pushed and pulled herself along, yet eventually, she couldn't take the pain any more. The opening was still just as elusive as ever. The pain overwhelmed her mind and she groaned at the agony that shot through her body. Shaking her head, she attempted to ignore the sensations yet she couldn't. The pain allowed the other emotions she'd been repressing to shoot through her body, feelings she didn't even know she'd hidden. Fear of imprisonment, yet desperation for freedom. Fear of commitment, yet yearning for love. And strongest of all, fear of losing; losing the battle, losing her friends, losing herself.

As the emotions flew through her head, she felt herself drowning in her feelings. Never before had she allowed herself to feel so deeply. But never before had she felt such desperation, such pain... And for the first time in six years, Sam let go. She let her tears fall freely down her face as she howled her pain. Clutching on the stones below her as if to stabilise her body, wracked with sobs.

"SAM!!" The shout came through the walls, and she jerked her head up, smashing it on the ceiling in the process. Ignoring the pain that shot down her neck she looked around, trying to find the voice in the darkness around her.

"Sammy!" The shout was quieter this time yet somehow seemed closer. The voice tinged with pain and concern. The tears still fell from Sam's eyes yet she ignored them, every fibre of her being fixated on that voice. It seemed so familiar, yet she couldn't bring herself to identify it, the identity of the speaker remaining elusive as she wracked her mind. All she knew was that she needed to find them, needed to reach that voice.

"Samantha." This time the voice, tinged with so many emotions that she couldn't even begin to identify them, was right above her. Its identity remained a mystery. Yet the certainty that she needed to reach it was firmly planted in her mind. It was if her mind had convinced herself that the person speaking would be able to free her, that if only she could reach them she would be safe. She screamed, using the power of her voice to fuel her anger, and get her limbs to start moving again.

***

Aiden stared down desperately at Sam's writhing body. She was soaked in sweat, tears dripping down her face. Thankfully she'd stopped screaming. The sound had made his heart break. Yet still, he felt helpless, he wanted to be there for her. To help her through whatever she was experiencing, yet there was nothing he could do. Worry clawed at his mind. He knew he was being ridiculous, it was only a nightmare! Sam could survive worse than a nightmare. But that didn't stop the torrent of emotions he was experiencing. He'd felt her distress from his room, and had rushed to her. At first, she hadn't made a noise, but he'd smelt her fear and stress. He'd tried to take her in his arms but the movement had seemed to worsen things as she'd started thrashing around as if to rid herself of the hold of his arms. So he'd released her, against his better judgment and the yearning of his heart, he'd let her lie back in the bed, standing slightly to the side. His hands yearned to hold her, to comfort her, to fight her nightmare. But he'd forced himself to stand there, the worry threatening to crush his heart and tear his soul to pieces. She'd moaned, thrashing, and when her tears started falling he didn't think he could take it anymore. Despite her closed eyes, he could practically read every emotion, he could sense the fear, the desperation, the loss. All of it was imprinted in the lines of her face, the trembling of her hands. That's when she'd started screaming, and he literally felt his heart break. He felt useless, inadequate. After the attack on his family, seeing his Dad die but unable to do anything, he'd promised himself he would never let himself feel that way again, yet staring down at Sam he knew that for her, he'd feel every pain and every fear forever if it meant that she didn't.

The screams alerted Liam next door, who burst in, turning the lights on. Taking in the scene he rushed to the other side of Sam's bed.

***

Sam fought against the rocks, desperate to reach that voice. She had nearly no room to move, yet she managed to shift herself so that her back was pressed against the ground, ripping her legs to shreds in the process. She ignored the pain, her desperation and another emotion she couldn't quite identify filled her heart, fuelling her. Her heart felt like it would burst yet for some reason, the feeling felt good.

"Sam!" Another voice introduced itself, and Sam paused, emotions conflicted. Yet her need to escape overwhelmed her and she pushed her hesitation aside. Using all her force she strained against the ceiling, her muscles burning. Her cuts stung as bits of rock debris fell down her, blinding her eyes and coating her throat. But she forced herself to push, sensing rather than seeing when the rock started to crack. The possibility of escape helped fuel her weakening limbs, and she pushed her body, forcing it to give one last push, one last effort, just one more, one more...

Lights above blinded her as she blinked her eyes. Growing accustomed to the glare she peered around. She was back in her bed. The scratches on her arms and legs had disappeared although a ghost of the pain lingered. Her throat felt raw and her cheeks were wet. So the screaming and crying had been real, Sam realised. Glancing to the side she saw Aiden. He looked awful, his eyes were wide and red, worry lining his face. To her other side, Liam seemed calmer, yet worry still shone in his eyes. Those must have been the voices I heard. Suddenly she realised the reason for her hesitation when she'd heard that second voice.

Closing her eyes, she felt the tears threatening to spill over again.

She kept quiet as the boys asked if she was ok, nodding her responses, desperately wanting them both to leave so she could turn and howl into her pillow in peace. They eventually did, but she sensed Aiden linger at the door as he turned his head, his scent changed, and she assumed he was staring at her. It became deeper, almost longing, but there was a hint of bitterness, an underlying regret, or maybe it was disappointment... She wasn't sure.

As he finally left, she let the tears fall freely. She knew she'd realised something during her shower after Liam had made his move, but now she'd truly accepted that her wonderings were real. She couldn't love them both. Playing them like this was only going to rip them apart. She'd always tried to convince herself that she hadn't been playing them as she didn't want a relationship. But she realised that something had changed. She had a choice to make.