It was the last day of June, the final day before the start of the mating season. A couple of the larger packs had started arriving, their members trickling through the doors to the packhouse.
Sam had spent the first few days since their return from the compounds following the tracking feed in the helicopter, and she'd spent hours poring over maps of the area, hoping to identify potential facilities and plan the perfect attack. By the third day, the location device had finally halted in the Northern area of Texas, allowing her to finally locate the third compound.
As they were already mated, Obi and Béa had volunteered to go and check out the facility, hoping to provide some intel, whilst Sam had got in touch with some contacts to attempt to obtain the blueprints of the building and to gain access to their phone and internet connections. Now all that was left to do was wait.
Alone in her room, Sam was deep in thought. She was contemplating her imminent departure. As usual, she felt that niggling feeling of doubt about yet her fear of staying meant that the decision was easy to make. There was no hesitation, her mind was made up. She knew she had to leave. If she couldn't decide whether she wanted a relationship, then she wasn't ready to meet her mate. I don't want fate to make my decisions for me. I don't want my decision of whether I'm ready to commit to someone to be dictated by the Goddess. I am in charge of my own life, and I want to give myself time to make the right choices.
As she packed her bag, she remained lost in thought. She wasn't packing many things, as she had decided that this year she would be going camping, hoping that the fresh air, exercise and plenty of time to relax would bring her a well-needed break from life. In her rucksack she rolled a tent, a sleeping mat and a sleeping bag, along with a change of clothes, some toiletries and a couple of cooking essentials.
The mating season lasted for a whole month, from the first of July till the thirty first, so Sam planned on staying away for the whole time. Although she wasn't sure she would survive a month of camping, so she also packed a second bag to leave in the treehouse, where she would return once she was tired of the great outdoors.
That night she joined in the revelry with the rest of the pack, as well as some of the visiting members. She stayed away from the other Alphas. As a female Alpha, she was either shunned by the males who assumed she was incapable of leading, or extensively flirted with by the males who believe that she was looking for a mate to take her place. Everyone was generally joyous, excited for the upcoming festivities. As well as the possibility to mate, the meet also brought an opportunity for wolves all over the world to have some semblance of a holiday, where they could be themselves and truly enjoy their time. This meant that the meet didn't solely attract single wolves, but also couples, families and young wolves who weren't of age to mate yet.
As the clocks approached midnight, Sam set off. She hadn't planned on saying specific goodbyes but found herself cornered by Liam and Aiden as she was leaving the main hall. Staring up at their faces she saw that they both seemed sad, disappointment flashing in their eyes. Liam pulled her in for a hug first, the musky scent of pine trees enveloping her.
"I can't believe you're leaving, I wish you'd stay." He spoke softly into her ear. As he pulled away, he furrowed his eyebrows, his green eyes staring into her own. Aiden moved forward, as if for a hug, but instead he held back. Cupping Sam's face with his hand, he stared into her eyes, hoping to see a trace of regret in those honeyed irises. At the resignation in her eyes, he sighed, and leaning forward, softly kissed her forehead. Pulling away, his face broke into a smile, as he forced himself to remain happy and upbeat despite his crumbling heart. He felt this way every year, but for some reason, this summer, the feeling was worse. He blamed it on the sense of hope he'd had when Sam had started opening up, as if he'd associated it with the possibility that she would stay, that she might at least want to know if their connection meant anything. But every summer was the same.
As the door closed behind Sam, Aiden let out a sigh. He felt like his heart was breaking, and his happy, cheery self was lost for a moment as he allowed himself to bathe in the hurt. He breathed deeply, feeling every emotion, recognising every feeling. Then he set his shoulders, lifted his head and, glancing at Liam, set off back towards the party. Liam stared as his back as he walked away. He had never understood how Aiden could do that. How he could just switch his emotions so easily, talk about them so blatantly, move on so quickly. Liam always had to feel every part of the emotion, seemed to drown in them for days. He could hold a grudge for years, feel love for an eternity. Yet he couldn't talk about them. His mind could be overwhelmed by the sensations but he couldn't bring himself to open his mouth and speak. In that, he would always understand Sam. So when he saw her walk away, every summer, his heart would break, yet he knew why she left.
***
Sam made her way towards the treehouse. She would stay there the night and drop off her stuff so that she could set off early the next morning. As she wandered, her mind drifted to her most common daydream. Her perfect life as Alpha of a pack, her mate by her side, offering guidance and understanding, her equal in every way. Sam didn't want a mate who would dominate her and force her to be Luna, the name given to the male Alpha's mate. But she also didn't want a mate who would need constant help and guidance. Physical weakness she didn't mind but she knew she wouldn't be able to handle a mate who was emotionally weak, who needed reassurance constantly. In her daydream, her mate was everything she'd ever dreamed of. Their specific characteristics varied depending on Sam's mood, sometimes they were powerful, sometimes loving and nearly always fun. But they were always accepting. That was the most important aspect for Sam, she needed someone to whom she could tell her story, and who could hear what she had done without judgment but with a desire to understand. Who could see her faults, yet didn't fear her for them.
She allowed herself to live out the daydream for the rest of the evening, picturing her perfect life again and again, always with a different person. Yet every time she reset the dream, starting again with a new scenario, new characteristics, new events, the face of her mate remained elusive. She could never make them a real person. She would pull characteristics from the people around her, melding them. Sometimes they were emotional, protecting and dark like Liam, other times her mate was joyous, carefree and with the love for life that only Aiden possessed. Or maybe they were snarky and cunning or loving and sweet like Kira or Varshini. Yet Sam could never pick one person to play the role of her mate in her dreams, none seemed to fit. And so she found herself stealing their characteristics, making her own imaginary mate in her head. All the while wondering if she would ever be ready to actually make her dream a reality.
Hey readers! I can't believe I've made it to Chapter 22! Honestly, I never believed I would manage to write this much, and I'm so happy :-)
I really struggled to write this chapter, so I would really appreciate some feedback through comments and votes.
According to my plan for the story, there should be about ten chapters left (but don't worry, I have plans for a sequel... with a lot more smut...)
Hope you enjoy xx
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Permission to escape - The Rogue Pack
Werewolf"You, I was thinking of you" she admitted. Aiden groaned, curling his hands around's Sam's waist as she spoke, her words like an enchantment to his ears. Her body fit into his perfectly, her short height of 5'2'' only adding to his sense of dominanc...
