Will Never Settle For A Quileute Boy

Protecting What I Have Left

Protecting What I Have Left

I had woken up wishing it had been the last thing I had to do. I was in no mood for Jacob, and his little snide remarks, and I really wasn't ready to see Paul waltzing around with Vanessa all day. Holding hands, kissing in the hallways.

Losing people who you thought loved you, tended to really put a damper on ones mood towards life.

So I pushed myself up out of my bed, I stood lazily on my feet, looking for a way around the bags of clothing I had purchased just the day before. There had been no way that I was wearing anything that I had just bought. I just wasn't ready yet, and I didn't care about looking pretty.

I slumped down the hallway and into the bathroom so I could brush my teeth and take my shower, so I could hurry up and throw on clothes, pull my hair back into a ponytail, slip on a pair of shoes, and be on my merry way to school.

But the day had been anything but merry. Depressing, sullen, yes. But Merry? I really didn't think so.

"Come on Jessie, you're going to be late." Dad called from the living room. I heard the keys jiggling in his hand, and as soon as I grabbed my back pack, I was behind him walking out of the front door.

"Since when have I been late to school?" I questioned.

We were seven minutes into the ten minute ride to school, it usually was quiet, mom usually had the radio on. Dad had never been a morning person so he preferably kept it off in the morning.

And pulling up to the school, and seeing Paul standing in front of Vanessa while she sat on the stone wall, wasn't exactly what I wanted to see on my Friday morning. Neither did I want to see Jacob, he wasn't doing anything in particular, just seeing him annoyed the crap out of me.

"I'll see you later dad, have a great day at work." I forced a smile. He couldn't catch it, maybe because he was still waking up. But thank god he didn't ask any further questions. It was already irritating enough that Jacob was staring at me hard. And it was irritating because Paul wasn't looking at me at all.

Stepping out, I closed the door a little harder than I thought I should. But it wasn't as if dad was going to roll down the window and question my harshness. He just drove off and that was that. Slumping my way towards the front of the school, I knew for a fact that I didn't want to be there, not because it was school, it was because of Paul, Vanessa, and Jacob. Those three in particular. Jacob decided it had been time to give up looking at me because as far as he was concerned, I wasn't paying him any mind. But I had been. I always paid attention, and that was my curse.

Vanessa caught a glimpse of me heading up to the front door. And what I would like to think was passing them by unnoticed, to avoid all confrontation, was something I was clearly and obviously horrible at. The look on her face gave it away, telling Paul that something was wrong. So when he turned around, his look went from confused, to excited. And although I liked the transition, Vanessa obviously didn't.

"Jess Jess! What's up biscuit?" He smiled. He stuck out his man handed fist and waited for me to press mine into his. But I really didn't feel like doing that. Looking at the excitement of seeing me on his face though, I had the slightly light of clarity, that maybe he wasn't going to forget about me after all. So I slowly pushed my fist into his, trying to hide my smile.

Then Vanessa appeared at his side so those thoughts flew out the metaphorical window, yet again.

"So Vanessa and I were planning on going to this party tonight. Do you want to come with us?"

The look in his eyes really wanted me to go with him. And the look in Vanessa's eyes really wanted me to drop dead. As much as I wanted to be that girl. There had been no way that that girl was popping out of me. I wasn't confronting someone about her attitude, when that person made my best friend so happy.