Illusion

9

Moving week as a tough one for me.
Harry was so busy packing things and unpacking and attending welcome weekend things that I hardly had time to speak to him.

I was so shocked when his name popped up on my phone inviting me down to check out his dorm and tour his new university.

Spending time with Harry like that and compressing feelings started to take quite a toll on me. I wasn't myself that day. I was quiet and reserved. I didn't want to be hurt by him. I didn't want to hurt him.
Most of all. I didn't want to lose him.

"Chase. Please tell me what is bothering you. I miss that smile of yours, perk up." Harry demanded with a look of concern on his face.

"It's nothing really."

"Is it my fault?" The concerned look turned to one of fear.

I said nothing.

"Chase. Please just tell me what you're thinking."

I'm not sure how it happened but I ended up pouring out my heart to him.

"Harry. I'm so scared to tell you this.
I fell for you. Hard.
You are the most perfect wonderful human that's ever graced this earth. You deserve so much better than what you have and I just want to give it to you.
I love everything about you, Harry.
Your laugh completes me. Your smile can wash away my pain. You make me feel like for once maybe I'm not as forgettable as I believe I am.
I just know one thing and it's that I don't want to lose you. Not ever. I just. I'm sorry" I began to cry.
"I love you harry."

Harry grew quiet.

The silence ate away at me.

What had I just done.

Harry got up and walked into the common room of his dorm leaving me in his room alone.

No.

This can't be happening. Have I lost him?
Have I ruined our friendship?

I am so forgettable.