Illusion

18

3am.
3am laying in my room with white brick walls.
I was so empty.
I hadn't talked to Harry all day.
I layed in my bed and just counted the ceiling tiles over and over and over.
I decided to see if harry was up. I needed him more than anything right now.

"Are you awake?"
"Yes, love. Why are you?"
"I can't sleep. I need you.
"Come down, I'll make everything okay"

I threw my stuff into a bag and ran to my car. I didn't even care what time it was or that I had class the next day.
I didn't care I didn't care.
My mind was swirling and I could hardly see to drive from sobbing.

I was going way over the speed limit but I didn't care. I just needed to cut that hour and a half trip in half.

It felt like forever but I finally pulled up to his apartment and ran up the stairs to the 3rd floor and I was greeted at the door by Harry.

He stumbled to me and wrapped me in a tight embrace.

Alcohol.

He smelled like pure alcohol.

My biggest nightmare was coming true. Not only was he slipping away from me but now I feel like I am facing my father again.

Him and his druken stuper that had tortured me for years. I should've known Harry was too good to be true.

He grabbed me by my hand and dragged me into his room.

I ripped my hand out of his as soon as we got through the threshold.

"Don't touch me" I said under my breath.

"I'll do what I want, Lauren." Harry choked out.

Lauren?

There's no way he just called me that. This is just a dream a terrible terrible dream.

"You're the reason I'm like this. Why I'm so messed up. It's all you" he was yelling now as he cornered me and shoved me up against the wall.
I was still. I was silent. I couldn't even move.

He punched the wall beside me and walked off.
I slid down the wall and wrapped myself up into a ball and sobbed.

I could hear harry breathing from the other side of the room.

I sat there in fear for what felt like an hour.
It was probably about 5 minutes.

Harry walked over back to me and got down to my level.

He touched me and I winced.

"Chase..."

I was trembling.
I was sobbing.
This was a nightmare.

I looked into his eyes and the only thing I could get out was a small "Why"

He just shook his head, hardly in his right mind. "Because I'm an idiot, chase"

I sobbed harder.

He picked me up and carried me over to his bed and layed there with a death grip on me.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry" he kept repeating.

I eventually fell asleep in his embrace. When I woke up I realized that it wasn't a nightmare.

I shook and count stop. I questioned my entire future until harry finally woke up.