summer romance (e.d.)

thirty

ethan
july 3rd, 7:00 pm.

"ethan, you can't keep skipping your golfing time," my mom scolds at me, crossing her arms in the doorway of my room.

"why not?" i groan.

she opens her mouth to speak, but something else catches her eye. "your room looks nice. i don't think you've ever cleaned it this well before."

"thanks. can i have a moment alone?"

"you've had practically two days alone," she rolls her eyes. "you haven't come out of your room in forever."

"because i like it up here!" i yell. "i like my room. is that so bad?"

"get rid of the tone, and i expect you to be normal by the celebration tomorrow," she says sternly, giving my room one last glance-over before shutting my door behind her.

i smash my face into a pillow, wanting to just scream.

my mom is amazing and i love her, but sometimes she's really overbearing.

doesn't she know that i'm 18 and should be left alone frequently?

i'm so excited for college.

i just want to get out of malibu and eat ramen noodles for dinner and stay up all night studying for a test. the country club life has its perks, but i want more.

i want something real.

maybe that's why i'm so attracted to anna. she's real.
all the time.

every other girl in my life has been wanting to stay in the same spot their whole lives, just feeding off daddy's money. i don't want that.

it's been killing me to distance myself from her for these past couple of days. so i've skipped two golf games with grayson, just because i knew she'd be there, giving me looks with her perfect eyes.

i hate that she's beautiful.

if she wasn't very attractive to me, i think i could be over this thing by now.

but every time i look at her i see the freckles dotting her cheeks and nose, that really only appear when she's in the sun. and her teeth are so perfect it makes me question if she had braces for 15 years. literally. i try not to be creepy and stare at her lips, but my eyes always falter to them.

but her personality always outshines the physical aspects of her. she's kind, and she's caring to everyone. it doesn't matter who. she likes to read and learn new things and she's always open to changing her mind about a topic.

it makes me crazy insane wondering how she keeps up her smiley daze all the time, just blessing people she happens to walk by with a grin.

peeking out my window, i see that her's is open.

but then my eyes travel to the white bronco in the driveway, and i immediately and angrily close my blinds.

of course liam gets what i want. he always does.

he got my father's attention, and fed off his praise. he got the scholarship i was working for, the golf skills i envy, and the girl i really, really want.

so he has it all.

and the fact that i'm going to be sitting in the patio tomorrow night, watching the fireworks alone while everyone else is on the beach makes it so much worse.

she'll probably be sitting in his lap or something, pointing at the ones that she thinks are the prettiest. he'll kiss the side of her head and laugh, probably still in shock that she's his.

and that's what i want.

why can't i just get what i actually want for once?

                                       «»«»«»
{the next morning}

"good morning, ethan," robert grins to me, sliding a plate of pancakes decked out with strawberries, blueberries, and whipped cream.

"your famous fourth of july breakfast," i smile. "i love it. thank you."

instead of going out to the dining room to eat, i sit on the barstool across from him and reach out to grab the pitcher of apple juice.

"your under eye bags are prominent," he mentions. "no sleep, kid?"

"none," i mutter, shoving a bite of pancake in my mouth. "absolutely none."

"why not?"

i roll my eyes just thinking about it. "girls. that's why, rob. girls."

"anyone i would know?" he asks casually.

"i think you already do," i mumble.

"i called it," he booms. "i called it. did i tell you that i called it?"

"yeah, yeah. stop bragging and help me. what do i do?"

"well what's wrong?" he asks, topping off my plate with more whipped cream.

"she likes another guy."

"i find that hard to believe."

"always a hype man. but seriously, this doesn't usually happen to me. i'm not the type to take interest in a girl for this long," i explain. "so... snap me out of it or something."

he laughs. "snap you out of it? i can't do that, ethan. these are your feelings. i can't control them, she can't control them, and dude... i don't even think you can."

"but i really like her," i state quietly.

"you're as whipped as this cream," he mumbles, shaking his head and placing the can back in the fridge.

"am not! just tell me what to do."

"tell her," he shrugs. "let her know. make a move."

"she has a boyfriend."

he inhales sharply. "yikes. when you said she liked another dude, i thought you meant like... admired from afar."

"no, bro. that's the problem," i grumble.

"i mean... she'll be gone at the end of the summer, anyway," robert says slowly.

and somehow that makes it so much worse.