summer romance (e.d.)

forty-eight

ethan

"anna presented herself very well at the party last night," my mother says to me as just the two of us indulge in a morning parfait. "i was very impressed. how'd she learn that quickly?"

i shrug, but inside i feel giddy. "she's always been like that."

"that's strange..." she trails off. "i talked to many of the people that you introduced her to, and they all told me they were impressed by the conversations she held. she's very smart."

i roll my eyes a little. "well, duh. she's going to USC."

"actually, she's going to stanford."

the spoon drops from my hand, and so does my mouth. "w-what? you didn't finish writing her referral, did you?"

she nods. "almost done. i'm sending it in tomorrow morning. also, i learned that i have a friend on the board of education at the university. i could get her in easy, ethan."

five hours and 19 minutes.

"that's great," i force myself to say. "really great."

my mom gives me an odd look and laughs. "why'd that sound so... forced?"

"i just... don't feel well today. is it okay if i stay in my room for a little bit?"

she looks concerned. "of course. are you okay?"

"i'll be fine," i say, standing up and leaving my discarded parfait. "i'm just tired."

i escape up to my room and debate on texting her. eventually, i decide against it. ruining the excitement of her getting into her dream college should not be because i'm secretly upset.

of course i'm happy for her— this is what she's wanted forever.

five hours and 19 minutes.

what does this mean for us? at the end of august, she'll be back on a plane to new jersey, and then have to fly right back after a few days.

but i have until the end of the month.

it's july 31 today, and i have time.

that thought calms my nerves a little bit, but it's still a looming threat in the back of my mind. what happens when we have to leave? does she do long distance?

my thoughts are interrupted by a small knock at my door. i roll my eyes. "mom, i'm trying to sleep."

secretly, i hope anna's voice projects back at me.

instead, my door creaks open and my mother stands in the doorway, face looking apologetic.

"sorry, i know. i just wanted to stop in and make sure you're okay. you seemed fine at the beginning of breakfast. what's wrong?"

i sigh. "nothing, i just got hit with a wave of fatigue. that's it."

she nods, stepping into my room and looking around. "okay, that's fine. do you need me to get you anything? i have a meeting at the ranch in ten minutes."

"no," i try to say as evenly as possible. "thank you."

she looks like she wants to protest, but i fake a yawn and a cough. eventually she leaves, closing the door softly behind her.

i wait a couple moments, then spring up from my spot on the bed and begin to pace my room.

"ethan!" i hear grayson yell, pounding on our connecting walls.

"what?" i yell back.

"stop pacing. you're noisy, bro."

sighing, i sit down in my desk chair and start to spin a little bit. after a minute, my door creaks open again.

"she's going to be leaving soon," i whisper, looking out the window at the ocean water.

i hear grayson breathe out a deep breath, and take a seat on my bed. "you're scaring me. i've never ever seen you like this over someone. you're becoming... soft."

i laugh a little. "that's okay though, right?"

"of course," he says reassuringly. "i'm just trying to figure out ways to prepare you for when she has to... you know... leave."

"there's nothing we can do."

i spin back around in the chair, and face my twin brother. he actually looks sad for me.

"have you talked to her about it?" he asks.

i shake my head. "no. i don't want to ruin her moment of excitement that she got in. mom's sending the referral tomorrow, and there's no way she's not getting in."

"there's always a chance."

"it's anna," i snort. "there's not a chance that college wouldn't get her off the waitlist. she's so smart."

"i'm sorry, e," gray whispers. "i mean, at least you have until the end of august, right?"

i nod.

the end of august.