summer romance (e.d.)

twenty

ethan

"ethan," my mom says one night at dinner. "how did you improve so quickly?"

"in what?" i ask, shoving salad into my mouth.

"golf, silly. how did you do it?"

cameron and grayson turn to me, faces expectant.

i stop my chewing. "practice?" i answer more as a question.

"don't talk with food in your mouth," my mom grimaces. "but that's good to hear. i'm proud of you."

why's she only proud of me when i do something that she likes?

i nod and quietly go back to eating my dinner.

"so, how are you guys warming up to anna?" she asks casually, twirling her fork in her pasta.

"she's fun," cameron nods. "and has pretty hair."

"she's just overall pretty," grayson mutters.

i stiffen a little bit. "what?"

cameron raises an eyebrow. "we just said she was pretty, bro. not that we want her to take your spot in the family."

"no but—" i almost start talking about how she's easy to talk to, and funny, and will tell it to you as it is. but i stop myself, because my family thinks i hate anna.

my mom looks at me weirdly. "did you have something to add?"

"n-no," i stutter, sinking down into my seat.

"also, her and liam are very cute," cameron nods, jumping back into the conversation.

"they're like, a poster couple," grayson agrees.

"they're not even dating," i mumble.

"what?" cameron turns to me. "how do you know?"

i sigh, closing my eyes. "i don't. you're right."

they give me curious looks for the rest of dinner, and i escape up to my room as quickly as possible.

when the bright sky fades to black, it's hard for me to close my eyes. i don't recognize this feeling, but it's like a tug in my chest.

not knowing what to do, i go to the one place i know i'll be heard.

anna sits on her bed, reading a book as i slip in through her window.

she closes it when she sees me, and tilts her head.

"what's up?" she asks.

"can't sleep."

anna nods. "same. wanna sit?"

i look to where she's patting and gingerly sit on the side of her bed, kicking my feet just a little.

"i don't know why i came here tonight."

"my window is always unlocked, if you need it."

i can't help the small smile i send her, and glance around her room.

"it smells nice in here," i blurt randomly.

"i have a vanilla room spray. it's good, isn't it?"

i nod. "i like the smell of vanilla."

"ethan?"

"hm?"

she hesitates for a moment. "never mind."

"no, say it," i urge.

"why do you hate me sometimes? you're incredibly bipolar," she states.

sighing, i answer, "because. sometimes it's easier to hate people."

"easier than what?"

i shrug. "didn't know this was a game of 20 questions."

she laughs. "that's a good idea. wanna play?"

"okay."

"if you woke up in the opposite gender's body one day, what would be the first thing you'd do?" she asks.

"probably..." i trail off, looking at the ceiling. "probably look at my boobs," i finish.

she laughs loudly. "funny. no seriously, what would you do?"

"ummm... i think i would pee sitting down."

her face lights up. "no way! mine was i would pee standing up if i was a guy."

i shake my head. "not that much fun. anyway, what's been the most embarrassing moment of your life?"

she groans immediately as the words come out of my mouth, burying her face in a pillow. "i don't wanna talk about it, e."

"you have to," i laugh. "it's the rules."

"fine. my first day of high school, i walked in and immediately threw up in my homeroom."

"why?"

"nerves," she answers. "people still tease me about it to this day. what's yours?"

my shoulders eat my ears just thinking about it.
"when i was 14, i wore this weird purple sweater to the ranch, because i thought i looked cool. i didn't."

"there has to be something more embarrassing than that."

i raise an eyebrow and smirk. "not telling you. ever."

"ever?" she repeats in a mocking tone.

"you'll just make fun of me."

"you're right," she says bluntly. "i would. next question: where would you live if you could live anywhere in the world?"

i smile a little. "easy. back on the east coast."

she wrinkles her nose and says, "really? you're such a california boy."

"i try," i sigh. "but new jersey has always made me feel at home. every single time i visit."

"jersey is a good place," she whispers.

"what would be yours?"

"vermont. i like their syrup."

i laugh a little and fall back on the bed. my legs still hang off the side, but my torso and head is positioned close to anna's lap.

she smiles down at me. i find myself smiling back.

"can i stay here for a little while?" i whisper into the dim room.

"of course."

«»«»«»

anna grabs two red bull's from the fridge and hands me one. i crack open the can and listen to the satisfying sizzle.

"what's the plan?" she asks, sipping from hers and holding the blanket wrapped around her shoulders, tightly to her chest.

"your day off is tomorrow, right?" i ask.

she nods.

"okay, so—"

i'm cut off by a dinging in my pocket. i reach for my phone and look at the notification. 

«maddie» u up?

i ignore the text and slip my phone back in my pocket.

"who was that? at midnight?" anna asks.

"just someone. it doesn't matter—"

she gets a devious smile on her face. "it was maddie, wasn't it?"

"no," i scoff, not doing a very good job at lying.

"i can leave for a couple hours," anna offers. "i know i kind of invaded your spot—"

"no," i cut her off firmly. "i don't... i don't want to hook up with maddie anymore."

she's cute, but clingy.

"okay," she shrugs. "but you can just tell me to leave whenever you need this house. just... don't do it on my bed."

"fine. anyway, i say we down the caffeine, then watch hours and hours of the office reruns?"

she grins. "deal."