summer romance (e.d.)

thirty-six

ethan

they kissed.

she told me she broke up with him, and usually that means you don't kiss them anymore, right? the interaction was rather short, but i saw with my own two eyes what happened.

have i been getting played by her for the past few days? is that what this is?

grayson was interrogating the both of us, and i thought it would just be a friendly conversation between the two of them, so i tried not to get all jealous.

i mean, technically she's not mine.

but she's not his either.

at dinner, i poke at cameron's choice of penne pasta and try to decide if i want to call her or not. usually she gives me space when i'm upset, and i like that, but this time i actually want her to reach out to me.

"ethan?" my mom's voice snaps me out of my trance.

"yes?" i answer.

"you're quiet," she frowns, poising her fork above her plate. "what's wrong, honey? fever?"

before she can reach her hand over to feel my forehead, i quickly say, "nothing's wrong, mom. i'm just a little tired today, that's all."

grayson gives me a look that i can't quite decipher, so i squint my eyes at him until he wipes the expression off his face.

"where's anna? i thought you invited her to dinner, gray?" cameron pipes up.

"she uh, she said that she was going to go to bed early," grayson stumbles out unconfidently.

my mom checks her watch. "at 6:30? that's awfully early."

"she's a sleeper," grayson forces a nervous laugh. "right, ethan?"

all eyes get turned to me, and i raise my eyebrows in surprise. "uh, right. yeah. she sleeps... like a normal human being."

cameron narrows her eyes, trying to read me or something. i sink down in my chair and avoid all eyes.

from under the table, grayson kicks my foot.

i give him a 'what the hell??' look.

we need to talk, he mouths, face serious.

nodding, i tune out for the rest of dinner and barely touch my pasta.

after dinner when everyone is out of the kitchen, robert asks me with a worried face, "oh no. did i add too much basil? i knew it. i'm sorry, i'll try to go a little easier—"

"no," i rush to reassure. "it was great. i just... don't have the biggest appetite."

"ohhhh," he nods, catching on. "let me know if you get hungry later tonight, okay? i can heat you up some leftovers."

"thanks, man."

we do our fist bump handshake and i stumble my way up to my room. when i open my door, i almost jump out of my pants at grayson sitting on my bed.

"dude," i breathe out, clutching a hand to my chest. "you can't do that to me."

"whatever happened to never lying to each other?"

the firmness in his voice and betrayal in his eyes makes me cautiously take a seat next to him.

"what do you mean?" i try to sound nonchalant, but the nervousness peeks through.

"i know you and anna have feelings for each other," he says bluntly.

i widen my eyes. "you do? i mean— why do you say that?"

he gives me an eye roll. "it doesn't take a genuis to figure it out, e. but why did you lie? you said nothing was going on? is she cheating on liam with you—"

"not at all," i confess. "she broke up with him on the fourth and then we kissed on the beach and—"

"wait," he cuts me off, holding up a hand. "the beach? ethan, you haven't been on the beach in almost two years."

"i know! let me talk," i yell. "anna and liam are broken up, so when you practically made her go talk to him, it made the both of us extremely uncomfortable."

"i knew it," he shakes his head. "both of you have been acting to fishy around each other for the past week. and when liam forced the kiss on her? it just confirmed it."

"wait," i furrow my eyebrows. "he forced it?"

"did you not see her trying to pull away, bro?" he asks. "she was not feeling it. and that just confirmed my suspicions."

"she was trying to pull away? we must've seen two different things, because i saw them kiss."

"well yeah," grayson rolls his eyes. "against her will. she didn't lean in. she leaned away. and then you got all mad for no reason. she looked hurt."

i freeze. did i misinterpret this whole thing? and now we're fighting for no apparent reason?

"so she didn't kiss him... and then i got mad... and now we haven't talked in hours..." i say out loud, and realize how ridiculous it sounds.

"fix it," grayson orders.

i stand up quickly, heading for my door, but he grabs my wrist and sits me back down.

"so are you guys... you know...?"

"dating? i don't know. depends on who you ask."

the answer clearly isn't good enough for him, but i wiggle away from his grasp and run down the stairs.

my mom is thankfully in her office as i slip on my shoes and sneak past ms. valerie and out the door.

her window is open, like always, and i slip in through it stealthily.

i hear nothing but humming from her bathroom, and before i can let her know that i'm here, the door swings open.

anna screams as soon as she sees me, almost hitting her head on the doorframe from flinching.

"hey, relax," i soothe. "i just... came to talk."

her breathing slows as she registers that it's just me, then she glares. "shoot me a text next time? do you know how scary it is to have someone just break in through your window all the time?"

"i'm sorry. i should've called."

"yeah," she spits out. "definitely should've. what're you even doing here anyway?"

taken aback by her aggression, i stutter, "i-i just came to talk about earlier today and why i've been blowing you off."

her face softens a little bit. "continue."

"i'm sorry you had to go and talk to liam. i'm sorry that i got mad when he kissed you. and... i'm sorry for not giving you time to explain why it happened. grayson told me that i saw it wrong, and it totally wasn't in your control. is that true?"

she nods. "yes, ethan. i didn't want to kiss him. i promise. i tried pulling away as soon as possible, and i'm sorry that you saw it differently than it happened."

"so, are we good?" i offer.

anna smiles, stepping forward until we're brushing chests. she reaches up to duck my head down, and kisses me warmly.

her lips taste slightly of cherry chapstick, and i remind myself to tell her later that i like it.

when we pull away, all the tension we once felt between us seems resolved and pushed under the rug. her hazel eyes bore into mine with a glimmer, and i smile.

"remember when you hated me?" she suddenly blurts.

"don't remind me," i groan. "i was kind of a jerk."

"kind of?" she laughs. "i almost quit within my first week because it was affecting me that much."

"i'm so glad you stayed."

"why's that?" she asks quietly.

"because. you make me better," i say simply.

anna grins, leaning into my chest.