summer romance (e.d.)

fifty

ethan

at 11:50 pm, i pull out my airpods and take a deep breath. the threat of her leaving so soon keeps my mind occupied, no matter how loud i turn up the music.

i don't want to golf tonight.

i just want to be with her.

so, that's exactly what i do. my vans get slipped on, along with a random high school sweatshirt and some grey sweatpants.

my mom is thankfully in her office, where she's been all day due to a complication at the ranch.

i stop at grayson's door and knock a little.

"come in!"

the door slowly opens, and he looks at me questioningly from his laptop.

"i'm- i'm not going to be back home tonight. probably early tomorrow morning," i explain. "can you please cover for me if mom asks?"

he furrows his eyebrows. "where're you going?"

"i just need to get out of the house," i say with very little energy. "i'll be at the guest house if anything happens."

grayson nods, catching on. "i got you, bro. don't worry about it. go."

"love you," i say and grab his door handle.

"love you too. tell anna i said hi."

nodding, i close his door and tip toe down the stairs. ms. valerie is no where to be seen, so i quietly slip out the door and across the lawn.

of course, anna's window is partially open and the lamp light is on.

i get a small boost on the random cinder block on the ground and wiggle the window pane all the way up.

i lift myself up and through the window, landing in her bedroom softly.

"you're awfully clingy lately," she teases from her bed, closing her book and putting it on the nightstand. "i was just about to meet you at the gate."

immediately at the sight of her, i let out a big sigh of relief and feel my shoulders sag.

anna stands up, looking concerned. "ethan, what's going on? you're acting so weird."

instead of speaking, i simply throw myself against her and she immediately hugs me tightly. the familiar and reassuring scent of the vanilla perfume she uses floods my senses, and i close my eyes.

she rubs my back, and rocks us softly. "tell me what's wrong, e."

"no talking," i mumble, burying my head even more into the crook of her neck. i'm slightly bending down, which would usually be uncomfortable, but i don't even care right now. "just let me hug you. please."

i feel her nod. "okay."

so we stay like that for a long, long time. me breathing deeply pressed against her, trying to capture every moment in my brain to keep forever.

anna simply plants her feet and lets me be quiet.

i pull away eventually and smile a little bit.

"there!" she exclaims, pressing her hands firmly to my cheeks. "that's the smile i love. i missed it."

love.

when i don't answer, her happy mood falters. "still no talking tonight?"

i shake my head.

"got it," she nods understandingly. "i have those nights too. wanna lay with me?"

"c-can i stay over?" i ask nervously, scratching the back of my neck.

she tries to hide a small smile. "of course."

"thank you," i breathe out. "i just... needed to be away from my normal setting. i just needed to be with you."

"i'm here," she touches my hand, gently tugging me to the bed. "always."

always.

she crawls in her side and pats the other side gently. i slip off my shoes and get comfortable under the covers, as close to anna as humanly possible.

"wow," she laughs at my overbearing affection. "i'm not sure if i can reach up to turn off my lamp with you holding me hostage like this."

i immediately loosen my grip around her, and she shuts off her lamp. but as she sinks back down into the bed, i wrap my arms around her again and pull her close to my chest.

"you're scaring me," she whispers softly into the dark room.

"don't be," i sigh contently. "i just go through stages like this. let me be overly anxious and affectionate for a couple days and i'll bounce back."

"promise?"

"i promise," i say, feeling my eyes grow heavy.

there's silence for a few moments.

"ethan, i'm not going anywhere. not for a long time."

"i said no talking."

"okay," she responds. "but... i know you. i know exactly what you're feeling and how you're responding to it."

"how?" i mumble. "how could you possibly know?"

"because i've been around you far too much to be oblivious to anything you feel."

i smile a little bit and allow myself to chuckle.

after a couple minutes, her breathing slows, and mine begins to as well.

i'm in love with this girl.