Patience (d.m)

2.3: Struggle

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road by Elton John

Henley's P.O.V

"Oh my God," I say, looking in the mirror. I have a split lip that I finally got to stop bleeding, a bruise is starting to form on my cheek, and a black eye.

"I'm so sorry, Henley," Nikki says guiltily. "I didn't mean to do it."

I turn my head and glare at him. He sits on the toilet, looking up at me. "Are you fucking kidding me? This wasn't a fucking accident, Nikki. You don't punch someone multiple times by accident." Tears begin to fall. I try to wipe them away, but they only kept coming. "I can't do this anymore, Nikki. You don't want to get clean and I'm just putting myself in harms way by trying to get you clean."

He stands up, walking over to me. He cups my face in his hands and smiles kindly. It's so hard to believe that just fifteen minutes ago he was screaming at me and hitting me. "I do want to get clean," His voice breaks and I notice that he has tears in his eyes. "I don't know what came over me. I really don't." He hugs me close to his chest. "I'm so sorry, Hennie. I really am." I don't hug back at first, but after a few minutes, I do.

God, what am I doing? Why don't I just go find Tommy and stay the hell away from Nikki? It's like I'm in an abusive relationship, but me and Nikki aren't even dating. Sure, we make out sometimes, but it's never escalated from that. I should go find Duff. He could fix this. God, I need Duff right now.

"Nikki, I can't do this anymore. I can't get beat up every night because I said the wrong thing," I say, my face buried in his chest.

Nikki sighs. "You can't leave me, Henley. Please don't. I need you to keep me sober. I don't mean to hit you, I really don't. I'm sorry." He starts crying too.

It's like being around a bipolar person all the time. One minute, he's really sweet and caring. The next, he's yelling and throwing fists.

I can't handle it. If I thought I was sad before, I sure as hell am now. I'm miserable but I can't leave Nikki. He needs me.

I pull away from Nikki, looking up at him. "I'm going to go get some ice for my face. I'll be back later."

I leave the hotel room with tears falling down my cheeks. I don't know how much longer I can do this. I haven't seen my bandmates for a while. I only see them when we're onstage. As soon as we're finished, Nikki drags me off and keeps me from everyone. I miss everyone. It's went from me keeping Nikki in the hotel room so that he won't go get high, to him keeping me in the hotel room because he wants me to himself. It's times like these that I wish that Angel was here to keep him in line. He never once laid a finger on Angel. We would've known if he had because he would have twice as many injuries. She was so strong. Strong enough to keep Nikki from hurting himself or others. I'm not as strong as her. Not even close.

God, Angel. Please give me a sign of what to do.

"Oh my god," Tommy's voice rings out from down the hallway.

I turn my head to see him running towards me. He stops in front of me, placing his hands on my shoulders. He tries to get a good look at my face, but I keep my eyes to the floor. I don't want him to see. Finally, he forces me to look up at him.

"What the fuck happened, Hennie?" Tommy demands.

I shrug, not answering. I know that if I answer truthfully, he'll go kick Nikki's ass. "I fell," I say simply. My voice is so soft and small.

"Bullshit." I look back down at the floor. "Who the fuck did this to you, Henley?" I don't answer again. "Fucking tell me, Henley!" He yells, making me jump. I flinch as he raises a hand to run through his tangled hair. That's when Tommy makes the connection. "I'm gonna fucking kill him. I'm going to get your things, then you're staying in my room. You aren't staying with him anymore and you sure as hell aren't going near him."

"Tommy, don't-." But Tommy's gone before I can finish my sentence.

There's no use in trying to go help. I'm too weak to do anything. I lean against the wall and slide down to the floor. I bring my knees up to my chest, letting all of the tears out.

I think it's safe to say that the men in my life that I trusted have officially broken me. It's been a month since Duff and I's fight. He hasn't spoke to me since and it really hurts. In that month, I never left Nikki's side. At first, Nikki would only yell, but that soon escalated to slaps, then punches. I tried to cover my injuries with makeup. Surprisingly no one noticed. I guess it wasn't really a surprise, though. I kind of expected no one to notice.

"Henley?" A soft voice says.

I look up to see Duff with a concerned look on his face. "What?"

His concern turns into shock and worry as he sees my face. "Oh my God, what happened to you?"

I shrug, laying my head back against the wall. I don't have the energy anymore. I just want to sleep. I've cried so much that I wore myself out. Duff sits next to me. I know he does because he lays his head on my shoulder. I smile at the sweet, but small, gesture.

"Why haven't you been talking to me?" I ask, turning my head to look at him.

He lifts his head to meet my eyes. "I was trying to think of some grand gesture that would woo you."

I chuckle at how he said 'woo'. It's such a weird word. "Did you come up with anything?"

He nods, a smile on his face. "I think you'll really like it." He takes my hand in his, rubbing his thumb in circles on the back of my hand.

"Well, what is it?"

Duff's eyes scan over my face, making me feel self-conscious of my wounds. "Let's get you cleaned up, Gorgeous."

I scoff. "I don't think I'm 'gorgeous' right now, Duff."

Duff smiles, squeezing my hand hard. "You're always gorgeous to me, darlin'."

I roll my eyes at the cheesy southern accent he put on. He's such a dork. Duff stands up, holding his hand out to me. I grab it, but almost immediately my head begins to spin. I fall back down to the floor.

"I-I c-."

Duff understands what I'm trying to say. He puts an arm under my knees and the other behind my back. He picks me up bridal style. I cuddle into his chest, letting myself drift out of consciousness.

I think I hear Tommy's voice at one point, but I can't remember what was said.

Before I knew it, I was knocked out cold.