The only reason to marry is Love - A Sanditon fanfic

Epilogue: When two hearts sing the same song

A/N: Please note that this chapter contains so called mature content, even if it really is lots and lots of love.

An epilogue is really just supposed to wrap things up, but I do not think that anyone would want Sidney to rush in the bedchamber so here comes the longest chapter of this entire story. I advise to read it alone and hope you enjoy!

Epilogue

When two hearts sing the same song

When Sidney raised his hand to knock on the door to his wife's bedroom, he felt like everything in his life had led up to this moment. As if all the heartbreak and rough times he had been through, had served the sole purpose of shaping him into the man he now was and transport him on winding paths so that he would end up right here, right now, ready to belong to her and, he hoped, worthy of it.

This was everything he wanted. Still, or perhaps because of that, he was incredibly nervous. He had been with women before and was aware he usually did not disappoint, but it had never been like this. He had never been with a woman who he cared so deeply about and wanted to spend the rest of his days and nights with. He wanted to make everything right for Charlotte. When she with a pink tinge on her cheeks had handed him that key and he understood what she meant, his heart had almost burst with happiness. She wanted them to be together. He had to make sure she did not regret that wish.

He knew of men who had married the woman their heart desired, but yet managed to ruin the relationship during the wedding night, or at least cause considerable damage. He had listened to the drunken complaints of these disappointed and ignorant men, who did not understand why their wives were so cold in bed. To Sidney it had seemed obvious that the reason was that they were more preoccupied with taking than giving. Their own pleasure came first and last with no regard to the wife's wishes and when her enthusiasm was not what they had hoped, many turned to mistresses. He did not want to make the same mistake and forever ruin the intimacy between them. He knew that if he could not have this with her, he would not want it with anyone else and he wanted her to take delight in it as much as him.

It had never before mattered to him if he was a woman's first and he always considered men who saw a virgin as a coveted trophy pathetic. With a snort he reminisced how little he had appreciated the 'special birthday gift' his friends arranged for him at the brothel and how determined he had been to turn it down. Little had he known it would bring the ray on sunshine that was Charlotte into his life. Now things were so different, and it seemed like fate that they had met. He was eternally grateful that he would be her first so it would be in the safe harbour of marriage and love, not forced on her but also boyishly proud that he would be the one to introduce her to such intimacy.

Without a doubt he wanted them to be each other's last. He wanted to make her happy and content in all possible ways, including physically. Now he was nervous because he wondered if he would do well enough, if he would be able to make her enjoy it. If he would know how to introduce her to the act of making love in the right way.

When her soft voice beckoned him inside, his heart made a somersault and he turned the door knob.

He had half expected to find her buried up to her nose under the quilt like in Willingden, but this was not the case. She was standing in the centre of the softly illuminated room and was so beautiful that she looked like she was from another world. The fireplace cast a golden shimmer over the dark hair, cascading untamed down her shoulders. She had worn it pinned up since he came here and now he noticed it was much longer than when they parted in London. It was a reminder of the sad months that had passed in between, but her showing herself like this to him again also symbolised the newfound closeness between them. He felt an urge to run his hands through the long locks, bury them there and tie himself to her using the silky strands as ribbons.