A Different Kind of Addiction - COMPLETE

Forever Yours

oooop. Saying nothing.

. . . 

Mika POV

I open my eyes. I turn and look behind me. I don't see Toni. I am going to have to yell at her when I find her for leaving me alone for the second time. I swing my legs over the bed and notice I'm naked. No like actually naked. No Toni's shirt. I scrunch my eyes and think What the fuck. She always puts her shirt on me after nocturnal activities. Hmm. I go into the closet and walk into the closet grabbing a shirt and a pair of shorts.

I walk downstairs and am greeted by everyone except Toni. Ava must've stayed over for the first time last night. she is sitting down on Charlies lap with her legs crossed in his shirt(yes she is that small). I wiggle my eyebrows at her and she smiles at me blushing.

"Sup Mika." Charlie says. I wink at him and walk into the kitchen.

"Aaa I though I never heard you leave last night." Steph says perched up on the kitchen counter with a coffee in her hands. 

"Hush it" I say. Asia laughs.

"Hey A. Where's Toni?" she shrugs

"Did she leave this morning?" I ask

"Couldn'tve. Step and I slept down here cause she didn't want to walk upstairs." I frown.

"Then where is she?" I sat franticly. Her eyes widen.

"I- I-I don't know." she says. I go back into the front room and grab my phone. I dial her phone number. It rings but she doesn't pick up. I text her 

Hey babe where are you? An hour later I message again

Baby. call me I start to get worried because after 3 more hours she hasn't picked up or texted back. Her phone is on and it isn't dead.

Toni

Toni. Where are you

I am getting worried

I am reallly scared now

Where the fuck are you

Toni 

Toni I call her 10 more times. The guys get worried as well. After another hour there is a knock at the door. I jump up and open it

"To-. Oh hi can I help you." I look at a teenage boy at the door. 

"Here I was told to give this to you." he says 

"By who may I ask?" he frowns

"Open the letter." he says and walks off. I shut the door. And walk in. 

"Who was it?"

"Is Toni back."

"Mika are you alright." I sit down.

"A teenage boy gave me a letter and told me to open it." I say. I look at the letter.

"Open it then, you never know it could be from her." I look at Steph and open the letter. My breath catches in my throat as I see Toni's beautiful handwriting.

"It's from Toni." I say they all sigh

"Read it out loud" said Asia sounding scared for the first time ever.

Dear Mika

I am sorry you had to wake up alone this morning. I am also sorry I had to write you this letter because I am too much of a coward to say this too your face. I slipped out last night when you fell asleep. 

I love you with every fibre of my being, and I love the guys too even Ava our newest addition. You guys are the best things that ever happened to me and without you I wouldn't've been able to get through a lot of things. You all make me a better person inside and out. I thank you all for being there for me when I needed you the most.

But there was nothing I could do. I had to go, I couldn't let you guys get hurt because of me and my choices. So I left. I left you all last night and I am not coming back. I am going o miss you all so much, seeing you all every day and falling asleep next to you, Mika every night. 

I am going to miss play fighting with Charlie, I am going to miss Asia pulling me off afterwards. I am going to miss annoying Steph and her slapping me any chance she gets. I am defiantly going to miss Ava's little blushes whenever I flirt with her and Charlie punching me after. I am going to miss Asia telling me off for being rude and you all splashing me with water to wake me up for work. 

Mika. I am going to miss you the most. I couldn't tell you everything because there isn't enough paper in the world. I am going to miss you so very much and I am so sorry that I am never going to be able to see your smile again. In time I hope you forgive me for this even though I will never forgive myself for it. I love you with my whole heart and more.

In time you will forget me and I hope you find someone who loves you as much as I do not more because it isn't possible. 

I didn't leave because of you, don't ever think that. You did nothing wrong. None of you did. 

But I had to leave anyways, you won't know why and I don't want to find out. I don't want you to look for me, I wish for you to grieve for me for I should be dead to you. You will live on in my heart always and forever. My family. My Mika. My strawberry shortcake. 

I love you all. Forget Me.

Forever Yours 

Toni

We are all crying by the time I am finished reading the letter. Tears are streaming relentlessly down my face. The guys come to my side and we all hug and cry even Asia and Charlie. Ava is crying but mainly focussing on hugging Charlie. Steph is hugging me and Asia as well. Asia has her arms around me with my head buried in her chest crying without sound or a change in expression. This would hurt her the most as she had known Toni the longest.

I am crying but I feel like someone has just removed all of my emotions. How am I supposed to feel? The love of my life has just walked out telling me that she won't be back ever. What do I do?

"I need her back." I say and leave the room taking the letter with me. I walk up to Toni's bedroom and lock the door. I climb into her bed and lay there reading the letter over and over again. I cry myself into a sleep that I hope I never awake from.