A Virus for the Mind

Mindfull loneliness

June 18th, 2023. 2:48 am

My hearts races as if I was being chased by some creature in the woods, but I am nothing more than a girl alone in her bed. Again.

Its crazy hows there's nothing more dangerous for yourself than a lonesome mind. People used to believe that if you were in a relationship, you were complete and happy, but the truth is your mind is going to do everything it can to stop that. It certainly isn't easy when you're locked up in your house and live at the other end of the world from the one you need. A virus might have locked us up into our homes, but our minds have locked us out of saneness.

Three years ago when quarantine began, there was hope for a new beginning. This was only temporary they had said. Things would get better and soon we would be reunited with our families and loved ones, as long as we stayed inside. But we didnt, and things didnt get better. The disease had mutated and became airborn. People could catch it just by going outside. The economy crash hard worldwide, since the government believed it would be better to keep everyone locked up until they could figure out how to actually treat the virus, but as time passed it only became worse. Only a small selection of the population were completely immune to it and were forced to work in hospitals, food production and other essential services. If they discovered you were immune, you could be shipped anywhere in the world. 

People who left their houses became sick and succomed to the virus within days. The headlines were filled with death and horrifying news everyday, but at least we heard stories. Phone lines were cut off over a year ago, and all you could depend on were the weekely food delivery services and the people you lived with. There was no contacting people you once knew, and countries had to trade goods in order to survive. If a family member died, you would have to leave the body outside until a truck would pass by and pick up the lifeless body. You have to  wear equipment that could does not protect you long, therefore things had to be done fast. No proper goodbye, no funeral to remember all the good memories you had lived with that person. The sad part is, if ever you live with someone who has it, the likely outcome is that you are also infected, and that your turn is soon to come. 

Within the first year of the virus, everyone was sent back to their birth country, before it was too dangerous to even set foot outside. The rich were able to escape to luxery homes and hire personal servants to cook and clean for them. They basically lived in domes that allowed for them to feel like they had acces to the outside. Others, like me, were stuck to fend on their own with a weekely service of canned goods and chemically made fruits and vegatables to feed on. A year ago they shut down everything, including grocery stores and mailing services were very unpredictable. I guess you already know all of this, since you are living it too, but I guess I just hope things are a little better where you are. 

Today marks the one year anniversary of our last letter. I dont think mine have reached you in a while, or if it did I'm certain you were not able to send one back. I hope that you're okay. It's hard to live alone when everyone you love is gone. My only hope is that you're out there, living and breathing. My father died last week, so I have nothing left here. I have never been so lonely, but I'm sure i'll join him soon since he was infected. I sleep alone at night, but what keeps my mind awake is the thought of your heart beating. Although I know these letters don't reach you, I hope you know I think of you everyday. I believe that you do the same wherever you are. The thought of you has kept me alive for so long, and I still have hope that we will meet again soon. 

Love,

Dylan.