Even the prettiest flowers wilt away

10:02 am, Sept. 5

     Connor stormed out of the cafeteria, lowly growling. He was so angry, but why? Now, Connor barely understood why he did anything. Why he did drugs, why he smoked, why he rammed the brand new car into a tree, pretending there was a deer, why he was always so angry, why he hurt those he loved, and those who loved him. If anyone loved him anymore. He was just a monster. No excuses or explanations could make sense of all the things he's done. Right now, his consciousness was clouded by anger. He hated when people made of him, when they pointed out the worst of him. It was second decision to push that guy, Evan? He never really knew Evan, they had shared a homeroom a long time ago, but that was it. Well, why would anyone even hang out with him, even before he was just the depressed druggie who hated living. He wasn't any fun, even as a child, he never hung out with anyone. Even as a 7 year old, he was still a loner. That was the year he threw a printer at Mrs. G, the one thing anyone remembered about him during grade school. It was her fault for not making him line leader, it was his turn to be line leader, he had waited patiently for his turn, and when it finally was his turn, someone else got it. She had the nerve to tell him when he asked why "it's for reasons you wouldn't understand." So, he threw a printer at her. Perfectly sane reaction in his opinion. And, apparently it worked, since the next day, he was line leader. Connor tried to remember the last time he had a moment with a little bit of light. He couldn't.
    
    Connor felt slightly sorry for that Evan kid, at least he thought that was his name, he honestly didn't know. He ran, less ran, more stomped with scary speed, outside, his face red. He was just mad at everyone. His parents, his sister, the entire world. Sure that anxious guy really didn't do anything, but the kid with glasses had. Since that guy left, he had to use his anger and embarrassment on someone else, and Evan was there. Once he was far from teachers view, (he didn't care if he got caught, it just became part of the routine) he lit a cigarette, trying desperately to calm down. As he inhaled the smoke and watched it exit his mouth, he already felt better. After a few, he closed the box. He felt much more calm, and slightly high.

     Now, this may sound creepy, but he as soon as soon as he closed the glass door back, he began to follow Evan. Yeah, that does sound creepy, but it's true. As Evan walked into the computer lab, so did Connor. He decided that he wanted to apologize, which wasn't anything he was used to, so, can you blame him for being a fucking idiot? Evan was on his phone, standing over the computer. He seemed to be talking to his mother, though, when your not in the phone, you never know what's happening. Its always one-sided. You only ever hear one side of the story. 
"Yeah, it's fine, I'll just walk home..." He seemed to compose himself, setting the phone in a pocket on his backpack. He seemed to be writing something, an email? A letter? Connor didn't know and didn't care. The boy began to type vigorously, not a moment going in between each word. After a few seconds, he clicked a key combination and waited, walking away for a moment, seeming to be in his own head. The paper printed, and, without looking any farther than the first line, he sped over to him. Then realizing he should slow down as not to run into him, he stopped. He began to feel awkward for some reason.
"Umm... what happened to your arm?" He asked, noticing the bulky cast on his left arm. The boy looked up at him, taking a hand out of his mouth. He had short dirty blonde hair and subtle freckles adorned his face. He wore a blue and white stripped polo and khaki pants. His eyes were blue, that is, the visible one. The other one was covered by a deep blue rose, the exact one he had.
"Oh, I, um, I fell out of a tree actually..." Evan stared at Connor with expectant eyes. And, before Connor can even think, he doubles over laughing.
"You fell out of a tree?! That is just the fucking saddest thing I've ever heard. Oh my God!" Connor bended back up, watching as Evan forced laughter out of himself.
"I know, that's me..." He noticed and stopped laughing.
"No ones signed your cast," he motioned to the bare cast.
"No, I know..." Connor knew this would be a good time to try to make up for being a dick.
"I'll sign it."
"Oh! Um...you don't have to..."
"Do you have a sharpie?" Connor asked, ignoring what Evan just said. Evan reluctantly pulled out the sharpie his mother had given him this morning. Connor grabbed the black sharpie from his hand, sticking the cap into his mouth and using the felt tip to write his name. Treating every letter like its own masterpiece. Once he was done, admiring his work, he slipped the cap back on and handed it to him. Evan looked down at his cast and smiled weakly.
"Oh. Great. Thanks..."
"Now we can both pretend we have friends." Really! Connor Murphy, you are an idiot! He thought to himself.
"Good point..." Evan began to walk away, Connor grabbed his arm before he can leave.
"Is this yours, I found it in the printer, "Dear, Evan Hansen" this your name, right?" Connor knew the answer, still he held out the piece of paper. Fear seemed to surge through his eye.
"Oh! That's just a stupid paper I had to write for an, um, assignment!" He reached for the paper, but Connor swerved around, reading farther.
"Because there's Zoe?! Is this about my sister?!" He yelled.
"No! Not at all!"he fiddled with his fingers, his face bright red.
"You wrote this?!" Connor asked, sounding more like a statement than a question. Evan looked down, tears seeming to build up at the corner of his eyes, well eye. Still, Connor continued.
"You wrote this creepy shit about my sister because you saw I was the only other person in the computer lab!" Evan looked up suddenly with a confused expression.
"Why would I-"
"Because you think I'm a freak! Just like everyone else"
"No, I don't-"
"Don't lie! I'm just the fag who doesn't want to live, but is too scared to die!" (Anyone get the song?)
"What-"
"You know what?! Fuck you!" Connor stormed out once again, letter in hand, Evan trying to catch up.
"No, please, you don't understand! I need that back! Please...just give it back!" Evan screamed, falling to the ground as soon as Connor left.

(Woo hoo! 1184 words yo! This is as far as my doc goes so it'll take longer for the next update, if anyone even cares and reads this...)