Even the prettiest flowers wilt away

12:53 am, Sept. 6

     Connor had woken up earlier, a few hours ago when his ringtone had screamed in his ears, partly since his ringtone was of himself screaming while high. He didn't know why, but once he sobered up and someone called him, he still decided to keep it. He had assumed it was Zoe who had called him trying to get him to one home, after all the angry texts and missed phone calls, why did he answer it if he thought it was her? Doesn't matter. After yelling at the top of his lungs and only getting muttering back, he was hung up on. After that, he received a text from the one, the only, Evan Hansen. The person who had been plaguing his thoughts since he had first seen the guy only yesterday, was it yesterday? His phone had died a little while ago. Anyways, he and Evan had texted for only a few minutes, but it felt like years waiting to get response's. Long story short, Evan had politely asked for his letter back, which made Connor want to burst out laughing, and Connor told him that he'd give it to him at the computer lab. Now, Connor may be a dick, but he wouldn't keep something that blatantly showed their self hate, he knew what could happen if someone found out...

     He slumped forward off the trunk of the oak tree, wondering if Isaac Newton had been sitting under an apple tree like he was when an apple had apparently fallen onto his head. He sat up, completely giving up on sleeping. He rubbed his tired eyes and stood up. He knew he'd have to go home eventually, but he didn't want to think about it. Right now, all he wanted was a cigarette and (Evan) a charged phone. He could have one of those things. He once again pulled out a cigarette. (as I wrote "a" gay popped up, yes, he pulled out a gay) he wasn't sure where he was going. Maybe he should go home, toughen up and learn to live with the unimaginable...maybe he could learn to be nicer, all it would take was a little reinvention, right? If only it were that easy...if only he could say what he truly wanted to say, if only he didn't scream and yell at anyone who got on his nerves. If only he didn't hurt those who endlessly gave him love. He guessed it was too much to ask. He could never be as friendly as Zoe, never be as caring as Cynthia, never be as...what did Larry do that was good? Eh, 2\3 was close enough. He looked up at the sky, no stars tonight, but there was the moon, not very bright, hardly there actually, but still shining in the dark sky. He paced back and forth, wondering whether to go home or go heaven knows where.

     He decided to head home, only to charge his phone of course, it wasn't like he missed their company or moms homemade dinner, okay, maybe the dinner but that was it! (Tsundere Connor) he walked in the direction of his house, it was only a block or two away, way closer than from school. He walked with hands in his pockets, the street lamps starting to shine on him after only a minute of walking over the fence. He turned the corner and walked down to the end, bent down, grabbed the Key underneath the "Welcome" mat, and opened the door. The lights were off so he sneaked up to his room. Once he opened the door, he saw, Zoe? Why would she be in here? She was in her pink pj's clinging to a pillow on his messy bed, still covered with crumbled up homework and empty pill bottle's. She looked up at him with tear filled eyes, suddenly jumping back when their eyes met.
"C-Connor?!" She jerked off the bed and stood up. Connor stayed silent, waiting for the lecture.
"Why are you here?! I thought you were busy with who knows what...probably getting high..." Her face grew red, the tears she had seeming to evaporate, of course she'd think he was getting high, after all, he always did.
"Mom was worried sick about," she poked him hard in the chest, "You!" You always do whatever you want without caring about anyone else! You're a terrible son, and you have no friends solely because you treat everyone around you like shit! Its just "me, me, me, mE ME ME!" She crossed her arms, he face red with anger, it was as if rage was lingering off her, but Connor had to speak up, he was mad himself.
"Excuse me! Listen, I know I'm a monster, I know I'll never be who need me to be! I can't be you're best friend like I was when we were kids! I go out all the time without asking and don't come back for hours! Why is tonight any different!" He approached her this time and was getting more emotional by the second.
"I DON'T KNOW!" She fell to her knees, "I don't know, I don't know, okay?" She looked up at him once more.
"I just don't want you to hurt anyone else, I can deal with it, dad can, but mom, she can't... She's the only one of us who hasn't given up on you. The only one." Connor's face changed from angry to...he couldn't tell. It was only for a second, just a brief moment of shame, it was over too quickly.
"Yeah! Well why would I CARE?! IT'S NOT LIKE THAT MATTERS! NOW, LEAVE! I HATE YOU, YOU FUCKING BITCH! LEAVE OR I'LL KILL YOU!" She  got off the floor, tears returning to her eyes, she uttered a final,
"You don't have to be so mean! I hate you too!" Before walking out of his life.
     He fell onto his bed, cursing himself for being a terrible brother. He couldn't even care enough to not scream when all she did was be a slight inconvenience. But that was all it took, right? All you had to do was annoy him, even the tiniest bit, and he'd yell and scream and want to hurt you. That was all he ever did. He never even asked why he had found her crying. Didn't matter anyways, the outcome would still be the same. He plugged up his phone and laid down on the bed. Not even bothering to try to sleep, he just stared at the ceiling. He completely forgot about Evan, about soulmate's, about the letter, about Zoe, about everything.

( I wanted to write more but 1111 was too good. Thanks for 30 reads! Also, I'm considering including angst, as in cutting for Connor. I mean,I feel like almost every treebros fanfiction has that, god, I read to many of those...but please comment suggestions, I need help...)