"kacchan"

burden

bakugo POV

i roll over, facing away from kirishima.
i didn't want to disturb him sleeping.

as usual, thoughts fill my head in the dark till it feels like it could burst but i couldn't make a sound.

i quietly turn my head.
kirishima's facing the wall so i couldn't tell if he was sleeping or not, but from his steady breathing i guessed he was asleep.

i slowly get off the bed, creeping out of my room.
i need something to drown out these thoughts...

kirishima POV

i've been staring at this wall for who knows how long.
i don't sleep much at night, anyway.

"i don't want to disturb katsuki so i guess i'm gonna stare at this wall for the whole night..."
i think to myself, when i suddenly feel him move, and shuffle off the bed.
does he need the toilet...?

i listen closely to what he's doing, but i can't hear a thing.
i wait in silence for a few minutes, until i decide to see where he went.

quietly, i make my way towards where the light is turned on.
he's in the kitchen.
"ka..tsuki?..." i whisper, looking around, trying to find him.

i walk behind the counter and see him sprawled in the corner.
in his right hand, he has a half empty bottle of vodka.
his eyes are puffy and his face was wet.
it was obvious he was crying and drunk.

"k-katsuki?" i say, worryingly.

i slowly take the bottle out of his hand and put it away.
his face is blank, staring at the wall behind me.
he doesn't react in any way.

"katsuki... can you walk?" i ask.
i try to help him up, but he won't move at all.
his hands are burning hot.

"ki...shima" he slurs, looking up at me.
i blush.
he looks completely different than before.

"k-kirishimaa" katsuki smiles as he reaches his arms out.
"co-me h-here ki-kirishima..."
his breath is stained with alcohol.
my face turns a bright scarlet, as i slowly walk over to him.

hesitantly, i squat down to where he was sitting. he immediately hooks his arms around me, pulling me into a hug.
"ka-katsuki?" i stutter as i feel my face still burning up.

"my fault..." katsuki says, suddenly sounding sad and quiet.

what is he saying...?

"deku's suicide.... it was my fault."
i look up at his face, and tears fall from his precious eyes again, but he's trying to keep a smile.
i pull back. why would he blame himself for such a thing?

"no... katsuki! it wasn't your fault! it couldn't be helped-..."

"THATS WHAT EVERYONE FUCKING SAYS BUT THEY'RE WRONG!" he yells with pain in his eyes.

"I BULLIED HIM TO DEATH! I WAS THE ONE THAT TOOK MY PERSONAL PROBLEMS OUT ON HIM WHICH MADE HIM DO THIS!"

i was slightly taken aback, but i was used to being yelled at so it didn't startle me.
i hold katsuki in my arms, and let him sob into my chest.
i stroke his back gently, my face emotionless.

i can't even do anything to help katsuki...
all i am is a burden...

his sobs eventually settle quieter, and his breathing steadies.

"katsuki, want to go to bed now?"
i roll him over, and see that his eyes are closed, sleeping soundly.

he's so cute...

i pick him up, cradling him in my arms and carry him to his room.
i tuck him in and stroke his fluffy hair.

i smile slightly.
"i'm sorry for being such a weight on your back, katsuki..." i whisper.

i take my school bag from the floor, and make my way towards his bedroom door.
i look back to see his innocent sleeping face for the last time.
i know that this is the best thing to do for him right now.
even if it means i'll go back to that hell and may not see katsuki ever again.

even so...
i'm happy that this even happened.
he's given me hope and i'll take it as a sign that i shouldn't give up just yet.

"thank you..." i whisper.
i feel sadness starting to pile up in the pit of my stomach as i slowly walk away.

"goodbye, katsuki."