"kacchan"

weak

bakugo POV

i stare at the figure in the mirror, barely able to recognise myself.
the dark circles under my eyes and the non-existent scowling expression from all the sleepless nights.

i still wake up with heavy guilt in my heart and sudden flashbacks to the "incident..."

if only i had've controlled my panic attack...
if only i wasn't so weak...
deku would have been still alive...

i slap myself. 
"shut up." i mumble to the thoughts as i take my medication and wear my uniform.

today would be the first day back to school since the incident.

//time skip to school//

"katsuki!" i hear a familiar voice call after me as i turn my head slowly.

it was akio.
the last person i wanted to see right now.

"bro! where the hell were you? i heard about deku, jeez i didn't think he would go that far..."
he pauses and crouches slightly to look at my face that was staring at the floor.

"and now thinking about it..." he continues.

"where were you for the past month? you're the one that always wanted him dead right? lucky he ended up doing it himself lmao"

this time i had enough of his way of rubbing salt in my wounds.

i scowl for the first time this month, and pin akio up against the wall.

students crowd around, as the sadness i had felt all this time quickly turned to anger.

"WHAT DO YOU KNOW, HUH?"
i glare down at his stunned face.
i let my anger escape into explosions in the palm of my hand.

akio winces and uses his quirk to extend his fingers so he can protect himself.

"i...i'm so...rry"

those words...

for a split second i see deku instead of akio on the floor, his quirkless, helpless self apologising and begging for mercy.

i loosen my grip on akio's shirt in shock. 
the explosions in my other hand quieten.

i slowly let him go, as my scowling face droops once again to my true expression.
akio opens his trembling eyes to look up at me,
as i try to hold the tears back.

"bro... you good?" he asks in a worrying tone.

he stands up and puts his hand on my shoulder... but i hear those words differently.

"kacchan! are you okay?"

"kacchan!"

...

"katsuki?"

i snap out of my haze and see akio still looking at me with worry.
i let a tear fall down at the worst time, when the crowd of students start to get bigger.

"bakugo katsuki is crying!" a student screams for the whole world to hear.

i slowly feel my personal space being invaded as the mob starts to move closer.

"oh my god he is!" another yells.

i clutch my chest and try to breathe.
people come dangerously close as i feel each one of them staring down at me.
the voices...
louder and louder...
i can't take it anymore.

"move it you extras!" i order while my voice shakes.

i make my way through the crowd, ignoring their calls.

"katsuki!"
"katsuki where are you going?"