Save Lives // Derek Shepherd

CH. 12

Make Me Lose Control

"Surgeons are control freaks. With a scalpel in your hand...you feel unstoppable. There's no fear, there's no pain. You're ten feet tall and bulletproof. And then you leave the OR. And all that perfection, all that beautiful control, just falls to crap."

Whoever decided that running, of exercise for that matter was a good idea? or fun? I ran past Meredith and Christina before slowing down and looking back to see them huffing and puffing. I chuckled before walking back to them. 

"Oh. You are stupid. Oh, God." Christina said before we started running again. We ran over through a clearing. "You're a stupid evil sadist and I want to kill you." Christina said placing a hand on her stomach. We slowed down.

"Endorphins are good. Endorphins are mood elevators. This is supposed to make us feel better." Meredith said and I scoffed. I was exhausted yet still running faster then them.

"Oh, God. Do you feel better?" Christina asked hunching over I paused and sat on the ground shaking my head.

"I'm stupid." I mentioned.

"Slutty mistress." Christina said and I glared up at her.

"Pregnant whore." I mumbled.

"Sleeping with your boss and you, with your married best friend was a great idea." Meredith said to both Christina and I. Reaching over, I slapped her leg as she ran around me.

"You know what's ruined for me? Ferryboats. I used to love ferryboats. And Derek's got a thing for ferryboats. Now every time I see a freaking ferryboats..." I said stretching my legs out and reaching down to touch my toes.

"You know what's ruined for me? Coronary artery bypass grafts. And aortic aneurysms. God, I used to love aortic aneurysms." Christina said falling to the ground beside me as Meredith knelt down in front of us.

"Have you cried yet?" Meredith asked laying down beside me. I chuckled as Christina looked over at us.

"Hello." She said in a 'no way' tone. "Do you think we'd feel better if we cried? You know, just let it out?" Christina asked and I shrugged.

"Probably. Yeah." I said nodding.

"Do you want to cry now?" Meredith asked and I shook my head.

"No." I said and Christina nodded.

"Ok, let's jog." Christina said but none of us moved. I sighed, before standing up, helping Christina as well. We all groaned at the same time, not really wanting to jog anymore but knowing we had too. Once home we all showered and left for work. I walked in and changed into my scrubs before walking around to follow up on my post-ops. I stood next to Christina as she explained our patient.

"Mr. Gaston is scheduled for a resection non-small cell carcinoma today. He did well overnight, has remained afebrile. He's had a dose of ceftriaxone this morning. His pre-op labs are unremarkable. His chest X-rays, um, are unchanged from the previous." Christina concluded and I glanced up at Burke and noticed his stares towards Christina. I bit my lip holding back a chuckle.

"I own a couple of dry-cleaning stores. Never believed what they said about inhaling the chemicals." Mr. Gaston said and I nodded.

"We're going to do everything we can for you, Mr. Gaston." I said with a smile.

"Did Oncology see him yet?" Burke asked and everyone's eyes adverted to Christina.

"They're waiting for an update on the surgical path." Christina said.

"Thank you, Dr. Yang." Burke said.

"You're welcome, Dr. Burke." Christina said. I walked out and chuckled to myself while walking through the lobby. I walked past Derek and we didn't say anything. I stood in the nurses station signing some papers when a women came in on a gurney screaming. Izzy, George and Bailey came running, I glanced back to see Meredith pause.