Save Lives // Derek Shepherd

CH. 15

Into You Like A Train

"In general, people can be categorized in one of two ways. Those who love surprises, and those who don't. I don't. I've never met a surgeon that enjoys a surprise, because, as surgeons, we like to be in the know. We have to be in the know. Because when we aren't, people die, and lawsuits happen. Am I rambling? I think I'm rambling. Ok, so my point actually, and I do have one, has nothing to do with surprises or death or lawsuits or even surgeons. My point is this: whoever said, 'what you don't know can't hurt you' was a complete and total moron. Because for most people I know, not knowing is the worst feeling in the world. Ok, fine, maybe it's the second worst."

The night wasn't getting any younger as I continued to sit at the bar watching the door, frowning. He wasn't going to show up. I signed and turned towards Joe. "I should have told him to pick me. Shouldn't I have?" I asked Joe, thinking to myself that I wasn't fighting hard enough for him.

"I think it's romantic, that you gave him the choice, that you told him you loved him." Joe said and I shook my head.

"It's not romantic, Joe, it's horrifying. Horror movie horrifying. Carrie at the prom with pig's blood horrifying." I expressed glaring at Joe.

"Okay, fine, it's horrifying. But Carrie took out an entire senior class as revenge. Gotta say, I like that in a girl." Joe said trying to cheer me up, but I just scoffed. I noticed Christina, George, Izzy and Meredith talking about me. I punched the bar and turned towards them. "Who's pathetic?" I asked and they all looked at each other confused.

"What?" Christina asked.

"You, who pretend to be my friends, are calling me pathetic behind my back in front of my face. Why don't you just dump the pig's blood on me now and get it over with?" I exclaimed knocking some peanuts into the floor. The door opened again, and I turned but still wasn't Derek. "He's really not coming." I mumbled to myself before I felt my pager start to beep.

"Joe, turn up the TV." Some random yelled and Joe turned it up to show a massive train wreck. Great now I had to go back to the hospital drunk.

"You're leaving? No, you can't leave." Joe said turning to face me. I shrugged.

"Sorry, gotta go tend to someone else's train wreck." I exclaimed.

"You gotta at least stay for a cup of coffee. You're in no shape to cut people open. I want to hear the ending." Joe said and I turned and smiled at Joe.

"Maybe it's for the best. Maybe I don't want to know." I said before turning and walking out of the bar and over to the hospital. We got to the hospital and changed into our scrubs before riding the elevator up. We got on our trauma gowns. Before Bailey walked over, looking really nice.

"What are you looking at?" Bailey asked.

"Is that a dress?" Christina asked in shock.

"You, go get me my damn shoes. Let's move people." Bailey said before walking over to the door. She noticed me leaning against it and I smiled at her.

"Hello. I seem to be a little bit drunk. I was off duty." I explained.

"So was I. Anybody else half in the bottle?" Bailey asked and the others all shook their heads.

"All right then. Dr. Grey, stay out of the way.  The rest, stick with me and wait for assignments. I know you get all a-quiver at the sight of blood and organs, but it'll be a long night and you're tired. I want no mistakes. Come on." Bailey said before opening the door and stepping in seeing bodies after bodies. I suddenly felt less drunk. I walked in and leaned against the wall watching Addison be all surgeons like with a patient. I sighed.