BORN TO DIE | CLATO (THG)

FOUR

CLOVE KENTWELL

I ruffle Leo's damp brown curls. "It's okay. Come on. Breakfast should be ready." I lead the way out of the bedroom. Breakfast better be ready. If it wasn't... I roll my eyes, thinking of Leanore.

I walk into the kitchen. Leanore stands there stiffly, her eyes wide and watchful as if expecting me to attack her or something. It's not unlikely. I stop in my tracks, listening to my siblings' shuffling footsteps outside. I reach forward, grabbing Leanore by the wrist and pulling her aside, out of view from the kitchen door. Her eyes are bulging out of their sockets now.

I know I scare her. I can't blame her, especially after that one day a couple of years ago, where I stabbed a knife through our kitchen table, right in the space between her fingers. I felt no remorse. Still don't. Especially because that was what had made her get her act together for me and my siblings.

I stare her down, gritting my teeth together. "Your bedroom is right next to theirs. Would it kill you to head over there to check on them when Leo's having nightmares? I can't always be the one to do that. What will happen if I ever I go to the Games and I'm not there to take care of them? Huh?" I grab her by the shoulders and shake her. She's terrified, I can tell. "Leanore Anselin. You promised that day. You promised you would pull your act together for us. I'm reminding you of that promise now." I release her and walk away. I pause at the doorway. "At least you made breakfast."

I head over to the kitchen table where my siblings are feasting on hot bowls of grain and slices of fruit. I stand there and watch them. Leo glances up at me and nods down to his bowl of mush. "Are you hungry? There's still more." I shake my head. "I'm good. I don't have much of an appetite anyway." Then, my eyes catch sight of Ember, who's toying with her slices of fruit. "Especially not when your sister is playing with her food like that," I say pointedly.

Ember's eyes widen, dropping the slice of pear back on her plate. I take a stray packet of crackers that's laying on the table and throw it at her head. She ducks out of the way, and I hear the sound of the crackers hit the ground as I turn away towards the bathroom. "Did you know that you just missed?" Ember yells triumphantly.

I laugh to myself, stepping into the bathroom. "Did you know that I won't miss later on when I come out of the bathroom?" I shut the door behind me.

I run myself a hot bath, washing my hair and scrubbing my skin until I'm sparkling clean. Then, I dry myself off and start to get ready. It's tradition for everyone in the district to be dressed their finest. For me, my "finest" is the same every year.

The same satin dress my dad gave me when I was seven or eight. I'm sixteen now and it still manages to fit me well enough in most areas, although it's a tight squeeze and the skirt is way too short for my personal taste despite all the altering I've tried to do to it. But it's the only thing in my closet that's even slightly respectable to wear for this occasion. I slip it over my head and then do my hair. I comb through the wet tangles and then painstakingly braid it up in the best hairstyle my fingers can possibly create. It takes forever, and even then, the only thing that's even holding it together is the sheer amount of clips and pins I've used.

I step out of the bathroom in a cloud of soap-scented mist and head back to the kitchen. Leo and Ember have finished with breakfast and I can hear them in their bedroom, preparing themselves for the Reaping.

Leo is dressed in a plain shirt with buttons down the front and a pair of plain pants he'd spent all night trying to iron. Ember's wearing one of my old dresses with the ruffled sleeves and the gauzy white skirt that falls right below her knees. The sun that hits her back casts a halo of white light around her head, and especially with the dress, she looks like an angel.

I collapse on the edge of their bed. "Well, you guys look nice, don't you?"

We spend the next half an hour holed up together in the bedroom, them chattering away as I sit there, doing their hair and adjusting their clothes. Then, Leo and I head out the front door to get checked in for the Reaping. Since Ember's only nine, she's not eligible for the Reaping yet which means that she doesn't have to stand in the Square like the rest of us. Usually, she just sticks with Leanore and they stand right at the edge of the Square in front of the large screens to watch the Reaping.

As we walk to the Square, I feel a tug on my hand. Leo has stopped in his tracks, with this wild look of fear in his eyes. "What's wrong, kid?" I ask gently.

"Clove, I'm scared. I don't want to get reaped."

I try for a reassuring smile. "Leo, this is your first year. All the odds are in your favour. Your name is one among hundreds! You'll be okay."

He doesn't seem to be reassured. "But what if I'm not? What if I am reaped?"

I want to tell him that it's not something he should be dreading. It's something he should be wanting, in fact. But then I remember that he's only twelve. And those words just don't seem very appropriate at this point in time. So I squeeze his hand and look straight into his eyes.

"You won't be. And even if you do, someone'll volunteer. Someone always volunteers here." I can sense him calm down. "Ready to go now?" He nods slowly, and we continue walking. We line up outside the Square. Thankfully, there isn't that many people yet, so check-in should be a less tedious process. At the last minute, I decide I want to go on a walk first before getting checked-in. So I just queue beside Leo and wait for him to get checked-in before I leave.

I watch as he gets his finger pricked, he is accounted for, and he is allowed to enter the Square. Right before he enters, I stop him.

"You'll be okay on your own inside, right?" He looks at me quizzically and then understanding dawns on him. "Yeah, I will." My brother understands that I get a little overwhelmed and need to go on walks sometimes, just to take my mind off of things and get some fresh air. Throw my knives against some random trees in our backyard until they needed to be sharpened again. The number of times I've needed to do that at home in the middle of the night or after dinner or after training was too many to even count on one hand. I used to go on them alone, but then as time passed,  I eventually went on those walks, those short moments of relief and peace with someone else. The only person I trusted.

And Leo knows this because suddenly he's smirking at me, his eyebrows raised playfully. I get this reaction from him every time I announce I'm going for a walk. I lean into him and hiss into his ear. "I will kill you before this Reaping even starts." He giggles and then pushes me away. "Go on. I bet your boyfriend's waiting for you." He winks.

I fix a dagger-like stare on him. "There has been strictly nothing romantic between me and him, okay? He's just a friend. God." I can't believe I'm even having this conversation right now. Not because it's with my brother, but because I'm even having it at all. Seriously, what if people hear this conversation right now? What would they even think?

"Fine!" Leo exclaims, rolling his eyes at me. God, did he get that attitude from me? I need to fix that once this whole Reaping ordeal is over.

"Whatever, Leo. The twelve-year olds are at the front row left side of the Square."

"I can read the signs, you know."

"Huh. Sometimes I forget you can even read," I snort. Then I feel something familiar gnawing on the inside of my stomach. Worry. "You'll be okay by yourself in there, right? I'll only be gone for a few minutes."

Leo nods seriously. "Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm not scared anymore." We stand in silence for a while and then Leo pushes me again. "Now, go! He. Is. Waiting."

I turn away from him. "Shut up before I make you, nuthead."

"Have fun!" Leo singsongs behind me.

"I will!" And then I walk away, beginning my search for Cato Hadley.