i really wanted to write again yesterday but i didn't because my rachid ass was too busy being emo and sulking
but yesterday and last night was- very interesting .
i actually got most of my school work done ! i worked my ass off for a good 4 hours but i gave up in the last 30 minutes of it.
but after that i had went on call w some friends and a 'new' friend.
imma just say
my ears lost BOTH of their virginities that day.
you'd think someone was getting murdered on the call but no.
it was just them literally SCREECHING.
my ears did NOT have a good first time.
my throat was so sore from cackling like the ugly bitch i am.
i was actualky suppose to shower and clean my room up but i didn't get to that.
i woudk realky like you clean my room. i think i would be much happier if i did.
but my depression makes me so unmotivated and bed bound. i hate when people poke fun at me for it.
no i'm not lazy or gross, it's just my motivation and hope for things kinda arent there some days.
i don't usually tell people when they hurt my feelings. i'm bad at confrontation because i like to keep peace. and i am afraid they'd turn it on me.
like months ago my mom did.
she kicked me out MULTIPLE times for it. i'd say i got kicked out a total of 4 times. i had to live w my grandma for a few weeks.
but that's a bit irrelevant.
i just wish for people to be more gentle with me.
am i sensitive? no! not at all. but in a certain sense i am.
now, i'm as idiotic and rough as all can get.
i'm stubborn and i stick to my own opinions and my gut feelings no matter what. but i'm very open minded. i can always see things from everyone's point of view.
but there's some things that really get to me. but i'd never tell. i'll never tell anyone how much their words made me feel.
i don't tell anyone much about me in all seriousness. there's few little people i trust.
i'm not always feral.
anyways enough of that sappy shid
ummm
who knew i'd look hot as hell in a bandanna? not i.
i threw on a turtle neck and a bandanna last night just to do it.
or maybe because i was at my lowest again last night and i just played dressed up while fleetwood mac was playing in the background.
my friend said i looked liked jeyjey gardi. i mean no but that's a compliment.
my other said i was her little russian lady 💕
ok but i fucking stepped in glass a few minutes ago now my foot is fucking hurting like a whore at the moment.
but i will try to get my room clean today. at least start it. i just wanna make someone proud.
but um old country is good you can all shut the hell up. classic country slaps.
it reminds me of my dad. with his ugly ass vaquero self.
<3
