ive always sort of felt alone. like genuinely alone.
of course i have people i talk to.
but i know they're not too fond of me.
i'm not as important to them as they are to me.
i don't mean as much to them as they mean to me.
so i always wonder what it's like to be truly wanted and appreciated by a group of 'friends'.
maybe if i go away, i wouldn't feel like this anymore.
i am very well used to being by myself.
i mean, all i have is myself.
they wouldnt care regardless.
i love them. i love them a lot.
i care and think about them a lot.
but they don't feel the same. they aren't interested in those type of feelings or anything.
either that or they don't know how to show it.
but i feel as if it's the first.
i mean, i guess it is quite easy to walk out my life and ignore me.
i'd never do that to them.
and i'll never tell them how they make me feel.
never.
i am not needed , nor do i matter.
so why would my words and feelings matter to them?
