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rickys' point of view:
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"Is it true?" I asked.
I felt a glimpse of hope when I locked eyes with hers. A lingering thought I've had wondering helplessly in the back of my mind since the incident on my birthday. Does Nini feel the same way I do? I no doubt don't deserve her. With the way I have been acting, I know it—but a part of me knows that I can prove that I'm worthy of her with just a little bit of time and effort.
"Ricky–I, I didn't know you were there," she fumbled. Her eyes left mine, seeming to look anywhere else but them again.
"Nini, is it true?" I felt desperate, prying on her. I just needed to know the truth.
"How long were you standing there?" I know what she's doing. She's avoiding the conflict because it's true, I just want to hear her say it to confirm my prediction.
"I heard that you said you had feelings for me, and you don't know if you still do. Is that true?"
Her eyes flickered the way she does when she has anxiety attacks. I didn't want to be the cause of her anxiety but I knew this was a discussion that was long overdue.
"I don't know what to say, Ricky."
The bell rings signaling its time to go to class, causing Nini to let out a relieved sigh. It also made me let out a breathe I didn't know that I was holding.
She grabbed her book bag and darted towards the door, it took me a second before I realized we never actually admit anything.
"Hey! Hey! Wait up, please," I begged.
She slowed down, giving me a pained look that I didn't understand. It wasn't a bad conversation. "Can we please meet up after school?"
"I have practice, you know tha–"
"Then after! Come over after, please Nini. We need to talk," she finally met my eyes again. I begged.
"After my practice I'll head over."
I didn't hide my disappointment, as a wide smile grew on my face, "awesome, see you then!"
I don't know what the future holds for me and Nini, but I do know she's going to be there—girlfriend or not. This talk is something we both need to either move on from each other, or move on as more than friends. I know how I feel, but I'd push my feelings aside is that's what she wants. With a billion of thoughts running around in my head, I walked into class for probably the longest day of I've ever lived through.
* * *
"Ricky if you don't stop pacing I'm going to tie you to your bed!" Mom shouted from downstairs.
I can't stop, I've never been this nervous in my whole life. I don't know when my life became this complicated—I mean it was always complicated, but never with Nini. Nini was always my safe place, a way to escape a rough day at school, parents fighting, it all. I don't know what to do, or where to go when I'm going through stuff with Nini. I have Big Red but he isn't much of a talker when it comes to girls, video games yeah but other than that no. It's frustrating when you have no one to talk to about what's going on inside your head.
"Ricky, Nini is here!" I felt my head drop to my feet. Here goes going.
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authors note:
longer chapter for your enjoyment :)
