NCT 22ND Member

lєανє ρт2

ｃｈｅｒｒｙ ｐｏｖ

Disgust ,anger , sadness, anxiety and all the things you can imagine was what I am feeling right now , I felt like i am an autumn leaves falling from a high tree and blowing in different directions trying to find a safe place to finally land but I guess my way to my safe heaven was way far from  me , leaving me trying my best to breath Even when I feel like I was in a war and a soldier stabbed me with a big arrow in the middle of my heart but it was imagination because reality is I was deeply in love with someone and he broke my heart which made me realize how hard life is , life can laugh with you and the other day it laughs at you , some people say it is the darkest before the Dawn but why is my day darker than the dim black night.

It all felt like deja Vu like the story of my parents divorce but reversed the villain of their story was my mom while my father was the weak prey , my father wasn't weak he was just blinded by love , seeing almost every day his wife fighting and drinking while blaming him for the lack of money , the sigh always broke my heart , I didn't know why he didn't let her go after she made his life a living hell but now I understand, being blinded by love can make you do suicidal decisions just to make sure your toxic half is alright and living Happyly . I was always jealous of my brother he had a happy successful love story and now they are about to get married and have their first child , why did life chose me ? Why is it always me who has to suffer , why do I always have bad endings. I don't even know where to go anymore, should I go left where there is nothing right, or should I go right when there is nothing left .

I snapped out of my thoughts when chenle tapped my shoulder. I jumped a little bit and looked at him .

" Are you ok ? You have staring in the mirror for three minutes"

" I am ok Lele just thinking"
I gave him a big fake smile trying to make him believe me he just nodded but I can feel he doesn't believe me , who I am kidding the boys can read me like an open book lets just hope they doesn't ask me because I know for sure I would break down crying .

My phone rang making my heart beat so fast that my make up artist looked at me , she was doing my makeup because it is my time to film my part .

I picked up the phone to sigh with relief when I saw that it was dongyeon one of haywoon members . I picked up the phone .

" Good morning cherry "

" Good morning dongyeon"

" How is haywoon?"

" What do you mean how is dongyeon isn't he with you?"

I got up from my chair stopping my make up artist and going outside receiving confused looks from the boys .

" What do you mean cherry ? Didn't haywoon tell you?"

" He didn't tell me anything..... Just please tell me what happened?!"

Even though after all the things he did to me I still care for him , pathetic right ?

" Haywoon got kicked out from our group and company when he was tested positive for taking illegal drugs, how didn't you know it has been three months "

At this moment my whole world  stopped , then where did he go these past days , everything was clear like water , I know now why he was acting like that , he failed and felt jealous from me because I succeed and wanted to ruin that for me , but the question is why ?? Why would he do that if he truly loved me he would be happy for me , he wouldn't lie and tell me he did something wrong he stayed out tricking me by saying he was training but he was probably drinking or smoking or worst taking drugs or cheating.

" Cherry are you still with me "

" Y..yeah , are you sure about that I mean the company didn't release a statement about haywoon leaving?"