Oblivious (Boun x Prem)

Chapter 18: Changes

It's been just over a week since he's come to stay with me. Just over a week that I've become accustomed to having him in my kitchen every morning as we talk about random things.

I've grown used to us spending our days together, even if we're not doing much we're still doing it together.

Now all that's going to end tomorrow, when he leaves to go back to his home. And all I can think is...

Why can't I be his home?

The dreams and hopes of a naïve fool.

At least that's what my thoughts tell me. And it's probably true.

I just feel sometimes as though I'm so inconsequential compared to him, not worthy of having the honour that is, that would be calling him mine.

As the days go by I find myself thinking about him more. Every decision I make I think about what his opinions would be on it.

He seems to become more enchanting each time I look at him.

What's happening to me?

Ever since yesterday I've just felt so drained, and a little worried.

But why? I'm going to see him again, it's not like these are the last couple of hours I have with him.

I also feel as though something's going to happen, and I can't take it. It feels like I'm in a never ending suspense scene, and it's killing me.

I want to go back to yesterday.

***

"Okay, next pose please. Back against the wall and hands in your pockets... good now tilt your head up as if you're in deep thought about something."

I do as told and exhale slowly looking up into the blue sky above me.

For this photo shoot I just basically have to make myself seem edgy, making myself look like a juvenile, a kid off the streets I guess? And apparently I'm doing a good job.

After this I have a photo shoot for a mattresses company and then two other meetings after that.

Adulting can just be really tiring sometimes. There are days where I just want to stay in bed and do nothing but sleep and binge watch series, but I have to get up and do the things that are required of me, that my life depends on. I love my job, I really do. But sometimes I just want to forget about it.

Forget about my responsibilities and the life I lead outside from my home.

Is it wrong to feel that way?

It's not that I put on a facade when I'm not alone or anything like that, it's just that...

I don't know how to describe it? It's just just. It's what it is.

If that makes sense?

Another sound leaves my lips and my ears continue to be occupied by the sound of the camera being used.

"Good... now can you place your right foot up against the wall? Yes that's perfect."

After about 20 more minutes of different poses and scenes I'm done and the 2 hour shoot is finished.

"You did good, it looked as if you weren't even acting." Says P'Thanapon raising an eyebrow.

"I'm just that good I guess." I say shrugging.

"Boun, if you ever want to talk or get some stuff off your shoulders you can come to me and let it all out. I may be your manager, but I'm also your friend and I'm here for you, remember that." I give him a warm smile.