Distort the world into clarity

Chapter Three: The world turned upside down

Beatrice's mind kept on racing. The lack of sleep became sleepless nights, the question that kept her awake became multiple questions and the world kept on spinning and spinning. She just wanted it all to stop. She was getting very, very dizzy. There were many days that she wanted to puke. Just vomit all of the questions and doubt out of her body. She wanted to be sick, to stay in bed all day, to have her mom come upstairs to bring her chicken soup. The days went by very slowly and Beatrice was completely unable to enjoy her last days of summer vacation. Every time Riley and her hung out, she couldn't help but worry about how this was one of the last times she would see her best friend in a very long time. Beatrice even had some trouble eating, which didn't go unnoticed of course.

"Everything alright, Bea?" her mother asked her during dinner.

Beatrice was thinking about her next vacation. She would probably not be able to go to New York, because she was supposed to see her dad during the next break. How would he be doing? He hadn't talked to her in a few days. The divorce had been very rough on him. He just needed some space to work through things, then he'd contact Beatrice more regularly, that's what he had said. How long would she have to wait? She missed him a lot. She was going to miss Riley too. Would she have to choose between going to New York and going to her dad? That would be an impossible decision...

"Sweetie, did you hear me?" asked her mother with a slightly raised voice.

"What? Oh, yeah... Sorry mom. I'm fine. There's just a lot going on right now. With dad gone and Riley leaving for New York... I feel like I'm slowly fading away, like pieces of me are leaving me as well. Since I'm going to high school and stuff. Leaving my old life behind."

Her mother couldn't help but snicker. "You've always had your father's flare for the dramatic. Leaving your old life behind? You're just going to another school. You'll be fine."

"I'm not being dramatic! Everything is changing and it's changing really fast! There are days where I feel like I'm being suffocated. It's just too much..."

"Oh, honey. Try not to worry too much. I know that there've been a lot of changes lately, but you'll see that you get used to it eventually and then you'll feel better again, alright?"

Beatrice could not believe what she was hearing. She should just 'try not to worry too much'? Such genius advice! As if she'd never thought of that! If she knew how to stop worrying, she would've stopped a long, long time ago. The frustration grew stronger. Everything had been so unfair lately. She was starting to lose everything dear to her and it all started when her mother said she wanted a divorce. The anger had to come out, she couldn't keep it in any longer. She had kept it in for so long. She had tried to be supportive for all these weeks, but she couldn't fake it anymore. She was not okay, she was furious. Her face reddened and her heart was pumping in her chest.

"Why did you do it?" she asked, clenching her teeth.

"What are you talking about, honey?"

"Why did you just have to hurt him? Why did you have to break up our entire family? Why did you have to break his heart? And making him move out? You know that was cruel. I know you were a bit unhappy, but he was never cruel to you, ever. He didn't deserve this, I didn't deserve this. Did you ever stop and think for just one second that you didn't just break his heart, but you broke mine too? I was happy when you were together! And now you decided that your happiness is more important than ours and you broke it all. Our family, our hearts, our home. Why? I just don't understand..." The words had flown out of her mouth. To be fair, they had been resting on her lips for quite some time, but she never had the guts to say them out loud. The lack of sleep sure helped making her say things she never thought she'd share.

In horror she looked at her mother, desperate for some kind of reaction. A tear, an angry look or even a small smirk, anything. But nothing came. Her mother kept quiet and didn't move any muscle in her face. Beatrice waited full of anticipation for a few minutes, but still her mother looked at her with a blank expression.

She sighed. "I'll go to my room."

She walked towards the stairs, feeling terrible. She shouldn't have said all those things. Her mother was probably too devastated to even talk to her. So Beatrice did all she could do at that moment. She swallowed all her pride and said: "I'm sorry, mom."

But her mother still did not respond.

***

It was night, again. God, it was night too many times. Beatrice was starting to hatet he night. Her mind just wouldn't let her sleep and it was driving her absolutely insane.

This night, unknown to Beatrice was very, very different from all those other restless nights, however. Yes, Beatrice was asking herself questions again and yes, Beatrice was trying to find the answers on the internet, but there was something very different going on. The sky began to fall. It didn't drop suddenly. It took hours before it completely dropped to the ground, but when it did, everything changed.

The earth was no longer the ground, the sky was the ground. The trees, the earth, the mud, it had all slowly moved up in those hours. The world had turned upside down. The earth was now the sky and the sky was now the earth. Clouds were the new pavements and trees were the new clouds. The moon hid behind the many leaves of the trees.

Beatrice did not notice anything. She was typing away on her laptop, reading every single tip, every single answer she could find. She was completely consumed by her search. If she would've looked up just once, she would've seen what was happening. But she didn't. She kept on reading and reading and repeating and mostly, worrying. She was too much in her head to see what the world had become.