Upchurch love

past breaks through

"Me and Ryan have been on a couple more dates. I really like him but I'm scared. I've been hurt a lot by a guy and I don't want to go through that again! What should I do mamma?" I had called my mamma. She knew what to do. She always does. Plus talking to her makes me feel a lot better.

"Honey, I know your scared but you got to take a chance. Like when you moved to Nashville. You took a chance and look how that turned out. You just got to go for it. You can't always be safe. You got to jump and see how it goes. Yes you might get hurt but you rather feel then not. You understand baby?"

"Ya I understand and your right. Like always." I chuckled.

"I'm always right! So how is the tour going?"

"It's going good. I'm having a lot of fun." We talked for a while longer before we hung up. After hanging up I started to make  lunch. I threw a pork chop in the pan in the stove. When a knock came on the door. I wiped my hands off and answered it. I opened the door and there stood Ryan.
"Hey Madison."

"Hey Ryan come on in. I was just fixing lunch." I said waving him in and closing the door behind him.

"Ooo I don't want to be a bother Maddie." He had started calling me Maddie a little bit ago.

"Nonsense. It's no bother at all!" I told him as I threw another pork chop in. After we ate we started to go to the stage for the show. We walked side by side. Talking about different football teams.

"Dallas Cowboys are going to win!" He said. I just shugged my shoulders. "Well who do you like?"

"I rather watch college football, but if I did have to pick it would be the Falcons." I shot him a smile.

"Your going to be the death of me!" I just shook my head as I smiled. He sighed and looked forward. I was lost in my own world because the next thing I knew his hand was wrapped around mine. I froze.

Flashback

"Come on Madison!" Adam said as he grabbed my hand pulling me forward. I giggled following him. I had never felt this way. He pushed me on to the wall and captured his lips with mine. Butterflies filled my stomach as soon a our lips touched. "Come on!" He said grabbing my hand again.

"Where are we going?"

"You will have to find out!" He said smiling my favorite smile.

I came back because somebody was shaking me.  "Maddie? Maddie you ok?"

"Ya I'm fine sorry spaced out."

"Did you do something wrong?" A confused look came across his face.

"Um.. no. I'm sorry I can't do this right now." I said. All the memories I had keeped stored away came rushing back. "I'm sorry." I said as I ran away to the dressing room.

I got there and locked myself in. What had I done. He must be so  confused! I felt so bad. But it hurt to rember and that hand hold just made all the memories come back. I cleaned my self up and went out. I looked around for Ryan I had to say sorry and explain, but I couldn't find him.

"Hey Bruce?" I asked a rookie. "Have you seen Ryan?"

"Ya he's over by the light boxes."

"Thanks." I went over towards the boxes. Where I found Ryan putting on his leather jacket that he started with but would just take it off in the middle of his set. "Ryan?"

"What Madison?" He snapped. I knew that I had hurt him.

"I'm so sorry."

"Look Madison. If you didn't like me you should have just told me!"

"No Ryan it's not like that!"

"Then what's it like?"

"Ryan your up!" A rookie called.

"I can explain but not here. Can you come to my bus after?" The rookie came into the room that  we where in. He pushed Ryan to the stage. Leaving me with out an answer.

I sat on my couch bouncing my leg up and down. "Would he come?" I prayed that he did. If he didn't I would go over to his bus and tell him. I looked at the clock on the wall. I had been here for about 15 minutes. "He isn't  coming." I said tears welling up in my eyes. I got off the couch to go to bed when a knock came on the door. I ran to the door throwing it open. Ryan stood there. "I didn't think you were going to come."

"I wasn't but I wanted to know." I put my head down a little bit as I led him over to the couch. We both sat down.

"Look I really am sorry." He sat just looking at me. I sighed and started. "I was 16 at the time. And in love with the idea of being in love. His name was Adam. He was my first hand hold, kiss, first time and first love. I loved him so much. Jason said he was bad for me but I thought he was just doing the big brother act. One day, school had just finished i walked down the hall towards my locker." The memory hit me hard sending me back in time as I told him.

Flashback

I walked towards my locker. I wanted to tell Adam I would see him later after grabbing my books from my locker. I hoped that Jason wouldn't leave me. I turned the corner. Two people were kissing. As I looked closer it was Adam on a blonde girl. I threw my hand over my mouth in hopes that he wouldn't hear the gasp that went out off my mouth. I could feel my cheeks wet with tears. I went back around the corner. The next day i had invited Adam over.

"Hey babe."  He said coming through the door. He went to kiss me but I pushed him back.

"Do you have something to tell me?"

"No?" He asked in a question.

"Really? Because I saw you kissing a tramp."

"No it wasn't like that. She came on to me."

"Umm hum right. So she pulled her on her and you just let her trade spit with her? Get out of my house!!"
Flashback over

"He was so controlling." By the time I was done I was crying yet again. But I couldn't help it. It had really hurt me. It took my months to be back to my normal self. Ryan took my hand rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand.

"So do you see why now? It's hard to put my heart out on the line again. But your the first one that I've been with since." I asked.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I said that. I promise we will take it slow." I nodded. He took his hand and wiped the tears off. "Madison Aldean will you do the honer of being my girl?"

"Yes. I will." I said giving him a smile.