hi! i hope y'all don't mind if most of this going forward will be in oikawa pov !! because of the storyline it's easier for me to write in oikawa pov than iwaizumi pov but i'll try my best to include mattsuhana pov as well! i'll also try to add other charas as i go if y'all want? i mite start by adding minor roles with like kagehina n stuff but we'll see! thank u guys for reading 🥺
(i hav another story in my drafts so when the first chapter is ready to published pls have a read! i'll decide if i continue the new story based off the first chapter and how you guys enjoy it 💕)
tw: mentions of suicide & religious figures ?¿ (satan shxhjabs)
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oikawa POV
yesterday with iwaizumi was nice. i got to re-explore places that seemed to hold a lot of happy memories for me.
i kinda got a little- taken aback by what iwaizumi told me though.. i dunno- it's like i expected it but at the same time didn't expect it at all
'to put it short, oikawa... you tried to kill yourself'
those words just- linger in the back of my mind. it feels like when you think of something stupid you did 5 years ago and now you can't stop thinking about that thing
i just can't stop- thinking about it? why would i do that? why would i even THINK to try and leave amazing people like iwaizumi, and hanamaki and matsukawa behind? what the fuck was i thinking to do that to them?
i didn't get many details past 'you tried to kill yourself' but i didn't want to pry.. it seemed like a painful memory for iwaizumi and he- he must've felt shitty enough without me trying to get more out of him
i sit on my bed and lean against the wall, and curl my knees to my chest. i look down at my bare forearms, running my finger across all the little lines across my left arm
why did i do that to myself? and to my friends..?
i must've been a selfish fucking guy
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a week has passed since iwaizumi told me what really- happened.. i'm also going back to school for the first time in forever
i'm not nervous i just- iwaizumi telling me that if those guys we saw even try to talk to me, that i need to go find him straight away is stressing me out
i just wanna be on people's good sides and i don't think running away from people who i have no memory of being mean to me who are also putting in effort to try and talk to me, will get me on their good sides ...
i walk through the front gates of school. it's only 7:45, so i have about 45 minutes before school actually starts.. it gives me some time to relax, i guess
i enter the school building and walk up the stairs to the floor i suppose my class is on? my mum told me my classroom number before i left so- i can only assume where it is
my knee starts to ache a little from walking up all the stairs. i can't really blame my knee, these stairs are a little much.. why can't they have an elevator or something all these stairs just seems excessive
i walk along the corridor of the top floor of the school, observing all the class numbers above each classroom door, until finally, i find my class
why am i so nervous all of a sudden? my palms start to sweat and i can feel my heartbeat in my head
no one should even be here yet right? why am i so worried..? just calm down.. it'll be okay
i reach my hand forward and slide open the classroom door, scanning the room to see iwaizumi sitting in the back corner by the window
i look around the corner of the door and scan the room again. no one else is here
i step inside and slide the door shut behind me
"iwa-chan..? why are you here? i thought i wasn't in your class?"
i walk towards him, sliding my bag off my shoulder and pulling a chair to sit in front of him, putting my bag down on the floor and resting my elbows on the desk between the two of us
