hey y'all sorry for the super long break! my mental health hasn't been 100% ;; i do see all ur comments and it's so amazing to me that people are still reading this despite my absence!! i hope i can continue this story for a little longer ;; thank u all for the support it means so much 🥺
i hope u don't mind the mini time skip ;;
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oikawa POV
it's been about 3 months since everything happened. ive gotten closer to iwaizumi, hanamaki and matsukawa, but it just feels weird knowing they know so much about me, things i don't even remember about myself anymore. it makes me uneasy, i suppose
ive been going to school on and off, it's been really hard. people are always staring and whispering, pointing at me and edging to the sides of the corridors when i walk to my classes. thankfully i have iwaizumi there to comfort me. it feels like every day i go to school, something changes.. i don't know how to explain
i got to school a few hours early. i woke up at about 4am and just couldn't get back to sleep, so i got up and went to school. ive been sitting here, at my desk, just pondering, holding my phone in my hands and clicking it on and off to cure my boredom as much as i can without having to waste too much brain energy
i wonder if i should tell iwaizumi i'm here already.. i don't want to bother him. i should let him rest, he's been so stressed over me recently and always making sure i'm okay. i owe him a relatively stress free morning at the least.
i lay my phone face down on the desk and exhale deeply, looking out the classroom window out at the trees and mountains on the horizon.
just as i close my eyes to gather my thoughts the door to the classroom opens suddenly. i jolt my head around to see a group of 4 students. ive seen them around before, some of them are in my classes. ive never really spoken to them.. or at least as far as i can remember i havent, they seem okay.. i guess
"uh- hi ? i didn't think anyone else would be here so early"
the 'leader' of the group seems to be quite obvious. he's tall, dark hair, a mysterious look. strikingly more confident in stature compared to the other 3 boys..
"we just wanted to come by and see how you were going~ we heard about your little accident a few months ago and never really had the time to check in"
the leader speaks, in a low raspy voice. his tone almost sounds sarcastic..
he gestures his friends to follow him, all of them striding towards my desk, each of them pulling a chair to face me and sitting down.
they definitely look like delinquents but, i don't think i have the right to judge them considering i don't remember them at all.. why not give them a fresh start like i have with everyone else..?
"that's.. nice of you, thanks.."
i feel strangely nervous. i flick my eyes down to my phone which still sits face down on the desk, trying to avoid eye contact. i fidget with the ends of my sleeves under the desk. it's like i can't control my anxiety, but there's no obvious cause for it.. why?
"you know oikawa.. everyone used to hate you. everyone used to think you were just some cocky scum whos only personality trait was being an arrogant prick"
i felt something twinge in my body when he said that. i can feel all four of them burning holes into me with their stares. i look up slowly to meet eyes with the head of this pack. he's grinning, like he's taking enjoyment out of insulting me..
i can feel my heart beating faster, my hands getting all clammy and gross.. why do i feel so threatened? i know they're being jerks but.. that doesn't warrant my body acting this way does it?
"i- i'm sorry that people felt that way about me- i didn't know i used to be like that"
i grab my phone off the desk and put it in my pocket, pushing my chair back to stand up and leave as my fight or flight response kicks in
"where are you going?"
one of the smaller guys speaks, i look towards him and give him an awkward smile before glancing to the 'leader' and then back to him
"i uh, just need to go for a minute.."
i can hear them snicker under their breaths. i stand up and tense up completely, feeling the shadow of all four guys tower over me. i'm pretty tall- i shouldn't feel so intimidated by guys who are my height if not shorter..
i feel my breath hitch as the leader of the pack inhales to speak. oh god. i'm scared but.. i can't move.. i don't know what to do..
"sure, go ahead, we won't stop you~"
i just know that if i even try to move.. they won't react well.. but what other choice do i have? fuck. FUCK. why am i so scared?
i nod slightly and step away from the desk a little bit. i'm honestly surprised nothing has happened.. i look up to make eye contact with the leader.
he has a look in his eyes i just can't explain.. it's like it puts me into shock.. i'm frozen in fear once again and the next thing i know..
i'm on the floor, a shooting pain through my knee.. a pain i can't even describe.. i feel like prey being hunted by a pack of wolves, about to be devoured with no hope of escape..
i want to scream so badly.. it hurts so fucking much.. i curl up on my side and hold my knee to my chest, my entire body shaking. i don't even know what's happening. i can feel blows being aimed at my sides, my back, my head.. everywhere..
i can hear the faint laughter of the boys as i'm being beaten to a fucking pulp on the floor, in too much pain, and too weak to even retaliate with words, or a scream for help.. all i can do is sit there and hope it'll end..
it doesn't even hurt.. my whole body has gone numb.. is no one coming to help me? will iwaizumi save me? i.. i can't keep relying on him.. but right now i really need him..
worthless.. disgusting.. shameful.. that's all i am as a person. that's all i was even before all the shit i got myself into.. what else would make people think of me like this? what else would get me in this position?
i deserve it.. i deserve to be in pain.. pain is all i've ever caused others.. it's my turn to feel that as well..
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a short chapter for y'all !! i hope that's okay ;; ill try to update again as soon as i can !! but i can't make any promises :(( i'm super thankful for people sticking around for this story and it means a lot, thank u guys again!! ill see u next chapter 🥺💖
