Iwaizumi POV
THAT FUCKING DUMBASS HOW COULD HE. HES SUCH A FUCKING DIPSHIT HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME HE'S SUCH AN ASSHOLE FUCK YOU OIKAWA FUCK YOU.
my eyes burn. all i can do is cry. all i can hear is the sirens, people screaming. before i realise it i'm being escorted out of oikawa's apartment. that's all i remember. i just can't think. everything is spinning..
there's no way he could've survived that.. even if he did he'd never be the same again. there's have to be some kind of miracle for him to ever be the same. why did something so stupid end up like this? this never should've happened and it all happened because of me. it's my fault that he's gone.
it's my fault
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i've been in the hospital waiting room for about an hour now. i've been staring at the floor, for about an hour now. my chest feels hollow and my head feels like it's going to cave in on itself. hanamaki and matsukawa said they would get here as soon as they can, but, i don't think it'd be good for them. they know what happened, but like most things, it's worse when you're put directly in the situation.
i want to be alone right now anyways..
my body is exhausted but there's so many thoughts crowding my mind i can't rest, my heartbeat is so heavy i can hear it through my ears.. i just want everything to be okay, like the way it used to be when we were kids. just having fun, no problems and not a care in the world. everything was perfect..
"hey" a quiet voice rings beside myself
it's maki and mattsun..
"sorry it took us so long, we got here as soon as we could" maki says, his hand laid down on my shoulder.
mattsun hasn't spoken yet. he must be upset.. well obviously ..
"mm" i hum, not having any words for the situation. my mind is too crowded, spilling over with guilt.
i cant talk to them at the moment..
they both stay silent. i feel their warmth move away from me. i peer up to see them sitting across the room. i didn't expect them to wait, but i guess they're trying to be good friends.
it's strange seeing them so down.. usually they're having fun and making a joke out of everything.. especially when we're with.. oikawa.. i guess that'll be different now..
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another hour passes.. nothing yet. please just let him be okay.. i know this is my fault but i could never live with the guilt of knowing he died because of me.. even if he doesn't remember me, he'll still be able to live the rest of his life.. he's too young, he didn't deserve this because of my faults..
i hear footsteps approach me slowly, bending down into my view of the floor i see maki's face, a small but pained smile spread across his face.
"hajime, i know how hard this is on you, but please know that this isn't you're fault.. oikawa loved you so much he would never do anything bad if it was your fault, if anything he probably blamed himself for it all"
hanamaki is calming, and his words soothed my rabid thoughts.. i can feel a lump in my throat, the stinging of salty tears welling up in my dry eyes
"i'm sorry.." i mutter, holding my head in my hands
"hajime, please don't be sorry.. mattsun and i are here to support you. i just think that mattsun doesn't want to interfere too much in case it makes you feel too crowded.. we love you a lot and we're here for you and we'll wait with you for as long as you need us to"
"..thank you.."
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the doors of the waiting room open. i lift my head up and look at the doctor who stepped
in. i look around and it's only myself, hanamaki and mattsun.. i jolt up and step over to the doctor
"is it oikawa?! is he okay?!"
he doesn't respond.. he looks down at his clipboard and pushes his glasses up his nose. i feel hanamaki and matsukawa stand behind me, the doctor looking up at the three of us, his eyebrows furrowed
"there's good news and bad news.." he says
"bad news first." hanamaki says abruptly, almost trying to speak first to save me any built up emotions from blurting out..
"bad news is, he'll be in a medically induced coma for a while.. but the good news obviously, is that he's alive.. we still aren't sure of any further damage. that'll be found out after we wake him up."
i let out a massive sigh of relief, turning around, i burst into tears, wrapping my arms around hanamaki and mattsun so tightly i can feel their hearts beating through their chests. i can feel their relief as well..
it almost feels like a sappy tv show, something you'd never expect to happen and then somehow it all ends up okay..
for the most part..
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Oikawa POV
it's dark.. it's cold.. it's lonely.. what happened? i cant see anything- am i even thinking? am i dead? i don't remember anything.. was i at home having dinner? that sounds most likely.. but if that's the case why am i here? why can't i see anything? why can't i.. feel anything?
i can here faint chattering and beeping but.. i cant make any of it out clearly.. i'm so confused..
i feel like i'm forgetting something.. something important- but i don't even know if this is real? how could i remember or forget if it's not real? i'm not scared, nor am i at peace. have i ever seen light? will i ever see light? i feel disrupted.. i feel.. lost..
the chatters are getting clearer.. but still too faint to make out.. i don't understand.. where is everyone? why is everything still dark? did i get kidnaped? i'm so confused what's happening?!
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Iwaizumi POV
i sit at the chair that's placed beside the bed in oikawas hospital room. for such a horrible incident, he sure does seem at peace.. i'm sort of upset the doctor wouldn't let hanamaki or matsukawa in the room with me and oikawa.. i kind of need that extra support right now but, it's a whole different kind of relief knowing oikawa will be okay. or from what we know, he'll be okay..
there's just so much going on but.. knowing oikawa is still alive..
i have a reason to keep going ..
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FINALLY AN UPDATE SKKSNS so sorry if this got messy and kind of out of place and hard to read towards the end, it's super late and my brain cells have all left so IM RLLY SORRY IF THIS IS REALLY GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT PLS FORGIVE ME SMSKSM
