I looked down at her in shock. Really? Did she mean that?
I trailed my hands down her body till I hooked two of my fingers through the belt loops of her pants. I flashed her a smile and she blushed.
Her breathing hitched while I slowly undid the button of her pants. I pulled down the zipper and took a deep breath. Pulling her pants down, I admired her legs. So pale and flawless. I took them off and tossed them to the side, along with her shoes and socks. I took off my shirt as well and discarded it, not caring where it landed.
I blushed as she stared at me, her eyes examined my half naked body. I was about to tug down her black and white stripped panties when her hands stopped mine. Her hands were cold. I looked up at her face, and tears rolled down her cheeks. She shook her head slowly, a sad smile forming.
"I'm so sorry... but... I can't. We cant, I..." she choked up and pulled away from me. She turned away from me, facing the window and curled up into a ball. She buried her face into her arms and sobbed.
I felt a little broken.
What did I do?
I got on the bed and sat behind her. My legs were stretched out on either side of her, and I pulled her back into my arms. I held her while she cried. I pat her head, whispering words of comfort into her ear. "It'll be okay, don't worry, shh, it's okay. I'm right here. It'll all be okay." I wanted to believe my words but... they left a bitter taste in my mouth. I couldn't believe all of it myself. Mostly... the 'it'll all be okay' part. I couldn't stop myself, I felt like breaking down too. "I'm sorry. If you're not ready, I understand, I mean... we just met. Sorry, god, you must hate me-" she shook her head, her beautiful light brown hair swaying from side to side. Her brown eyes were dark and filled with inner turmoil. She was at war with herself. And I think I knew why.
Allen.
It was always him, wasn't it? I felt a little pang of jealousy, but I buried it down under my worry for her. What was it like... to have a world in your mind? A world that once loved you, but then turned, and is now tearing you apart? A twisted love...
I couldn't take it. The sight of her crying, being sad, depressed with no way out. I don't know why... but... I somehow knew how that felt. It was just a feeling, with nothing to connect it to, but I just knew somehow, that I did.
We stayed like this for a long time, until she just cried herself to sleep. I lay her down on the bed gently, and pulled a sheet over her, up to her shoulder. She looked peaceful now, and I let out a sigh of relief. At least it wasn't as bad of a freak out like before.
I got up from her bed and grabbed my shirt. I pulled it back on and took one last look at her beautiful sleeping face before exiting her room. I silently sent a thank you to whatever mystical force it was that kept me from getting caught sneaking out of her room to mine. I went to my room and shut the door behind me. I stripped out of my clothes, only wearing my boxers, and jumped into bed. It was already nighttime outside, and it was eerily quiet. I stared at the ceiling, thinking about the past few days.
Meeting Sarah, the shrinks nagging, Allen and Sarah with the whole dream thing, being so close to her, the feelings building up in me... all of this, and yet there was something else. Something important that I've failed to notice. Whatever it was, it was lingering in the back of my mind.
What could it be?
