Set Free

Set Free Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

  I once again actually got some sleep again on Sunday night, and I woke up feeling refreshed and ready for school. I even woke up on time, and that was great, since I'd forgotten to set my alarm like I always did. At least now I wouldn't have my mom on my back about being late.

  When I arrived at school, I expected to see Nick waiting there, probably ready to badger me into admitting my feelings for him out loud.

This is bad. I thought. I shouldn't be admitting that, even in my head, because the next step after that would be admitting it for real.

"So from now on, Amber, don't even think it to yourself." I told herself as she got out of her car and headed to the front doors. But I knew inside, whether I kept thinking it to myself or not, that the feelings existed. And they were deeper than I'd ever known possible.

  By the time I'd walked to my locker, I was surprised that I still hadn't run into Nick. He couldn't have really given up on me, right? He had to know I wasn't going to just come looking for him like last time.

  But he wasn't in any of our shared classes all day long, nor was he seen at lunch. I even went so far as to ask a couple of his friends if they knew what was up. And I was sure that something was, but no one would tell me what it was. In fact, they were acting as if I should already know where he was or something. Everytime I would ask someone if they knew where Nick was, they would look at me strangely and some of them would even shake their heads at me! How rude was that?! If only they would just have told me.....I might've saved myself.....from digging myself deeper into the hole I was already fighting to get out of. But I just couldn't help myself.Believe me, I wanted so badly to just forget about Nick and our friendship......and how I truly felt about him. I wanted nothing more than to stop thinking and worrying about him.

But I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried. I was beginning to think it was impossible, even.

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  After school ended, I broke the promise I had made to myself. I drove to his house, but he wasn't there. And his mother acted the same way to me about where he was and why he wasn't at school as Nick's friends had. They all just acted surprised that I didn't know. And it was killing me that they wouldn't tell me what I was supposed to know.

  "What the heck is up with everyone knowing something I don't? I don't understand why no one will tell me!" I exclaimed to Nick's slightly nervous-looking mother.

  "Well...the thing is," She explained. "Nick should probably tell you himself. I think why his friends and I are so confused is because we thought you two were so close, and yet, he didn't tell you...and I'm surprised, especially since his situation was so similar to yours....."

  My eyes widened. "What do you mean by that?"

  "Dear, he's at the park. He goes there every year on this day. He should still be there. He'll probably tell you why. I'm sorry, but that's all I can say out of respect for Nick's choices."

  "Well......I guess I'll go find him......thanks for all your help." I sighed, and bid Nick's mom farewell as I left his house.

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  I drove around the park awhile until I saw him sitting by himself on a bench. I parked my car at the sidewalk, and jumped out it, anxious to reach him.

  At first I was running, but then I realized that would look kind of bad, so I forced myself to slow to a walk. I would reach him soon enough. As I ran, I almost tripped on a tree branch laying on the ground, and it made a sharp snapping noise. I froze.

Nick heard the sudden sound, and turned his head, and when he saw me, he gave me a small, weak smile.

  "Uh, hi." I mumbled, standing beside the bench he was sitting on that looked out onto the playground, which was empty, since by then it was already almost dusk.

  "Hey." he said back, while patting the bench for me to sit down.

  I did, and we just sat there silently for awhile in awkward slilence. I seemed to somehow know that he would talk about this when he was ready.

  "It happened two years ago, when I was fifteen. I had a sister named Anna, and she was five at the time. It was her fifth birthday, actually, today, September 27th. I still remember how I'd never liked it  much that my sister's birthday was so close to mine. I was at the stage then where I really didn't like having much to do with my sister anymore, a stage I can honestly say I really regret now. You see, she had the idea that, for her birthday, she wanted it to be Halloween, since that was her favorite holiday, what with all the candy that little kids get, and that's just how it is for five year olds, especially my sister." He paused for a second, thinking back on the past a little more before continuing.

"She usually just got her way, and since she wanted it to be Halloween for her birthday, naturally she thought that's how it would be. But my mom was working that night, and it was just me and her at home, since my parents divorced three years before. That's why they'd had another kid, because they thought it might save their marriage, but that failed miserably." He said.

"So, anyway, she came to me, sure that her big brother would make all her dreams, however far-fetched they were, come true. But I was watching my favorite television show, which I though was the greatest thing ever at the time, though now, I can't even remember the name of it. But, anyway, she came to me, and I told her to go do whatever she wanted. I told her I really didn't care. I was so involved in what I was watching, I hadn't even paid attention to what she'd said she wanted to do. Though, even if I had, I don't know that I'd have done anything to stop her. I probably wouldn't have thought she was even serious. But she was..." He paused again for a second before sighing heavily.

"I didn't even realize until my mom came home late that night that Anna was gone. She was nowhere to be found. My mom found the clothes Anna had been wearing all day, when she was at school and everything, on the floor of her room. We looked everywhere for her, for weeks, for months. We never found her, and we still don't know what happened to her. A picture of what she looked like is still up at the local sheriff's office."

"Today would've been her seventh birthday, and I'd give everything if I could just have her back now, and I know that if I did I'd never let her out of my sight again. I'd do whatever she wanted me to, like braid her blond hair even when I didn't want to. Just to see her again..."

  Now Nick looked like he was about to actually cry.

  That made me a little nervous, so I tried asking questions about Anna, because I had no idea what else to say to that. "So what did she look like? Was she pretty?"

  Nick seemed to recover a bit, and he said, "Oh, well, you know how me and my mom look so alike, with the dark hair and eyes?"

  I nodded.

  "Anna looked just like my dad, and she had beautiful long blond hair and bright blue eyes. And yes she was pretty. She was beautiful,  always smiling, and she was kind to every living thing. She may have been a little spoiled, but I know she'd have grown out of that by now. Most little kids are spoiled when they're really young, anyway. We always thought she was so special....but anyway, that's why, when I met you, it really hit, like, a nerve. Because, to be honest, I tried killing myself a few times after we lost her, and after we gave up. I didn't see a point to living anymore, since I felt so guilty."