Set Free

Set Free Chapter One

Chapter One

                                                                             Three Months Later

   Sadness. That's one thing I know all too well. If you were walking down the beach in Port Michelle, Florida, you might see a tall, beautiful girl with choppy, short brown hair and sad eyes laying on the sand crying.  That girl is me. If you called out to me, I probably wouldn't answer. I was lost in a shock-induced daydream of vibrant memories from before my boyfriend of three months, Justin, died in a freak car accident while on vacation with his family.

If you wanted to know why I'm now in Florida instead of California, it's because I moved. Duh.

But why did I move? Well, ever since Justin died, I've been majorly suicidal...and I'm not afraid to admit it. I really don't care if you think I'm insane for trying to die. But you don't know how it feels to be me right now. Or maybe you do.

But right now, for me, it was just like putting a knife through my heart every time I woke up in the morning and had to realize, once again, that he was gone.

My parents were trying to be helpful, but in a stupid way. They decided to move me across the whole entire country because they thought being where the memories of Justin lived and breathed was harming me mentally. I can't tell you how much I screamed in protest the day they told me. We got complaints from neighbors within a mile's range of our house. But my screams were for nothing, because they had already made their decision. And it was final. That means they wouldn't take no for an answer, and since I was only sixteen, I had to bow to their will, suck it up, and leave.

Don't get me wrong, I love them, and I understood where they were coming from. I mean, what would you do if your sixteen year old tried to kill herself twice? You'd probably be so embarrassed that you'd have to move. But I didn't give a crap about their motives, I just wanted to stay. California was my home. It always will be. Florida is just the place I'll be living for a couple more years. Unless I succeed in dying, of course. But lately, things just don't go my way anymore.

   I was alone on the beach, but I knew at least one of my parents couldn't be far off. They've been watching me closely ever since I'd begun trying to kill myself after Justin died. I wished desperately that they would just let me go. They would never, ever even begin to know how I felt inside.

Also, I was an only child, so losing the only other person in the world besides my parents that I would die for was already killing me slowly. I felt like I was losing  mimynd. Everyone else thought I was. But I couldn't blame them, based on my actions, I probably was losing it.

   I just couldn't get over how unfair it all was. I had been SO happy with him, and now he was just, gone forever. I'd always known I had never truly deserved him and it was only a matter of time before I probably  lost him, but I thought it was going to be because of some other girl who was much better than me or something. At least then I would have someone to hate. What did I have to hate now? Death? God? I felt so helpless with it this way.

   "Amber, it's time to get ready for school," I heard my mother say from unsurprisingly not too far away.

   It was the dawn of my first day at Alexander Hamilton High School. The August morning was unusually bleak and cold. Like my heart. But I wondered, wasn't Florida supposed to be sunny all the time? I thought that was what it was famous for. But at least the weather matched the way I felt inside.

   I quickly checked my watch. It was almost seven-thirty already. My mom was right, as always; I needed to get ready soon.

   "I'll be there in a minute," I called called back to my mom.