Mikrokosmos; Prequel and Sequel to Time

Chapter 4

I feel eyes on me the entire feast. I know who they belong to. They burn through my defenses like flames to paper. I'm too easy when it comes to him. Weak. Always weak.
But I can't afford to be weak again. Sever ties...sever ties...I need to make sure he's safe then leave.
"How does it feel to be in control of all the guards?"
I glance over at my patrol partner who grins at me. Rolling my eyes, I smack his shoulder. "I won't be doing much more than I already was. It's just a title."
He frowns. "But won't you be with the prince constantly?" His eyes trail over to said prince to stare. "He's...very beautiful, yes? So pretty like a flower."
I snort. "Something like that."
He looks back at me. "You don't like him? I know all the other guards was hoping to be assigned as his personal protector. I'm a little disappointed it was given to you." He pouts. "You get all the good stuff."
Yes...and it only costed me my life.
I sigh. "It won't be easy. He will have a lot of enemies."
"How do you know?"
"He's the prince. There will always be someone trying to gain power and control if they can manage it. He still needs to learn."
He chews his lip, pointing back towards Jimin. "Do you think they will have a son?"
I snap my head over to see Jimin chatting politely with his future betrothed princess. On the surface, he looks cheery and happy but I know him way too well.
His eyes are tight and fists are clenched. He's nervous and uncomfortable. I want to leave my seat and snatch him away from everyone. To protect and love him.
"Jonghyung."
     My partner smiles at me kindly. "Yes?"
     Forcing my gaze away from Jimin, I meet the curious eyes beside me. "Do you think you will marry and leave the Royal guard?"
     He blinks, startled. "I don't think so. I have pledged my life to protecting the royals. I have no illusions of a long life and I wouldn't want to subject my wife to such a loss or leave her to raise a child without me."
     That's very reasonable.
     "Why do you ask? What about you?"  
    "I don't think marriage is for me, either."   
    "You have a much better chance of surviving throughout the kingdom, though."
    "What do you mean?" Frowning.
     He pushes the food around his plate, contemplating. "Well...we are in a very peaceful time more or less. Realistically, I don't believe it will continue forever. All kingdoms fall eventually, do they not?"
     An ominous shiver runs down my spine at his words. I study him as he eats and continues to watch the guests of the feast.
     I wonder...just how much does Jonghyung know? He has lived as many lives as me. Has he ever gone back in time? Could I ever tell the difference? If so he has the perfect poker face.
     Hmm...
    "Ah, duty calls." Smiling, I nods towards Jimin as he stands up and politely bows to the princess.
     Clearing my throat, I say goodbye to him and make my way towards the prince. His eyes catch mine and I can clearly see the relief in them as he closes the distance between us. He surreptitiously grasps my wrist.
     "Can we leave? I'm tired."
     Sensing his desperation, I nod and bid farewell to the King before leading Jimin back to his room. Closing the door firmly, I turn my head and watch as he tiredly collapses on his bedding, sighing. "I do not like her." He wrinkles his nose and I want to fucking kiss him so bad.
     I hold back and bite my cheek. "Why not?"
    "She's rude and opportunistic. All the time she just spoke of gaining wealth and prestige being my wife. She isn't even as beautiful as I am! How can I marry her?"
     I can't help it. I laugh. "How gracious of you."
    He blushes before ducking his head. "Do not mock me. I can't handle it." Pouting.
     I gently ruffle his soft hair. "It's late. You should bathe then sleep. You have an early morning, my prince."
     He pauses, biting down on his plump bottom lip. "C-could you..." He slowly meets my eyes. "Would you wash me, Yoongi? I'm used to having help." Admitting shamefaced.
     My entire body tenses like a straining arrow at the thought of touching and washing his naked body. I can't...I couldn't...no, I definitely shouldn't.
      "Please."
     Groaning under my breath, I grab the large basin and fill it with hot water. Weak. So fucking weak.
     I keep my back turned away from him so he can't see me chastising myself. I give in much too easy it's pathetic.
     I hear the subtle shifting of cloth and glance back only for my mouth to go dry as he slowly slips his robes off and lets them drop to the floor.
    His delicate form is completely bared and vulnerable to my eyes which devour every pale inch of him. Too perfect to be real. Maybe this isn't real.
    Maybe I'm still in limbo dreaming?
    I could believe that.
    Clearing my throat, I grab a cloth and lather it with hot water and lavender and rose petals. He perches elegantly on the long cloth towel I've laid out for him, graceful and proud.
    Pure.
    Flawless to a fault.
    Am I being tested?
    Without breathing, I kneel down beside him and with shaking hands begin trailing the wet cloth over his soft skin.
     His breath catches as I wipe him as gently and thoroughly as I can. He stretches his arms and legs out for me to wash.
    Grasping his ankle, I can't stop my eyes from traveling up his thighs and between his legs. A place I've been so many times and yet it always feels like the first.
     I want to taste.
     I crave it. Long for it.
    Jimin.
    What is it about you that traps me in an endless spiral? You're like a graceful spider and I'm the pathetic fly stuck in your web. Waiting to be consumed.
     Begging for it. Anything but this torturous waiting and enduring. It's too much.
     "Yoongi?" His voice tears me from my indecent thoughts.
     I hadn't realized I'd stopped moving. I begin washing him again. "Sorry. Lost in thought."
     "Does this bore you?"
     Oh, if only you knew, my love. "Of course not, my prince. I apologize."
     He frowns at me for a long moment before slowly spreading his thighs open wide, shocking me and nearly making me swallow my tongue. "You missed a spot. If you are too bored then I can do it myself."
     I sense challenge in his tone and defiance in his eyes. I silently plead for the ground to swallow me up into the void.
     My trembling hands move of their own accord and I can't stop it. I'm bad. I'm awful. So...weak....
     I want it.
     I need it.
     I know he will give it to me.
     Why not sate my hunger? Just this once.