Imperfections

Horrible Humans

I am different. Different than everyone else, im not just an ordinary girl. I dont give a fuck about soccer, og going to the gym or having the newest gear in clothing and electronics. What works is fine with me. In many ways i am nothing like no body else. At times it gets hard being so different. When all the girls are bonding, chatting about guys they like, and im just standing there on the side line, listening to their gossip, without having anything to add. 

Sometimes these girls surprise me, it seems like they're the best friends in the world, and that they would rather die than betray one another (exaggerating will help the understanding) And the next they're talking behind their backs to someone else. These kinda things makes me think, what do they say about me when im not around? But then again im invisible to them, i hear everything, all the gossip, cause they know i dont tell. It doesnt stop them from talking about me either, that im peeking in their convo. Although it rarely happens, that im the subject of the day. I keep to myself, trying not to step over anyones feet, minding my own buisness. 

Its impressing how big of an bitch girls can be. I always imagined what it would be like to have that one close friend, that you could do everything with, that would feel like a sister to you. And always felt like everyone else had exactly that, till i found out they dont. In reality they dsipise eah other, but hang out to keep their status. Its weird how girls can be this fake, and still be fallen for. So many times i've had a crush, and i've been happy, turned my stalking down a bit, smiling and being welcoming, but after all he chooses the slutty self centeret bitch, who bitches to him about her girl friends. What kind world is it we're living in? A world where status comes before everything else. Its dissapointing, and unfair. 

I met this guy once. I dated him, and when i then started dating another guy, who was looking horrible, but had the sweetest personality of all. It was long distance and i wasent planning for it to lead to anything, so the looks didnt bother me. But then my ex told me, how come you choose him over me, he doesnt deserve you, look at how ugly he is. I just stood there starring at him, as my jaw dropped to the floor. WHo are you to say who deserves who. Oh and so ugly people cant be dating good looking people? You cant really help what you look like, you're simply born that way. And common my ex wasent even that hot, i just wanted to slap his face and tell him, mind his own buisness, but i didnt.

Truth is im just as bad as he is. You see, i agreed with him. And why? cause i was ashamed of the guy i was currently dating, weird huh? I guess its natural wanting to make your ex jealous, if you want him back, or even more of he's an ass and you wanna fuck his case. But if this isnt working, and you end up degrading instead of opgrading your former partner, its kinda embarrasing. Humans are horrible creatures. So selfish and shallow. But we're all like that in some way, wether we wanna admit it or not. So why havent we just gotten used to that kinda behavior yet? Cause we all wanna appear perfect. We really need to put an end to that illusion, cause no one is.