Imperfections

Hypochondriac

I think a lot. Maybe too much sometimes. And I get easily affected or attached. I have this idea, that everything I do is wrong, and wrong for a reason. Like you could say I'm a hypochondriac. I wanna make up a reason to every bad emotion I feel.

I feel sad or sleepy? I have a depression, obviously, and I'm definitely nothing like other teens, and it's not just normal for people in puberty. No no, I'm at one In a million person where other rules counts. I get sick for a couple days, I cough, obviously it's a lung infection what else could it be! I have a pain in my right arm, it's a heart. attack, and that shit is serious. Besides pretty much all symptoms leads me to cancer or other fatal deceases and sicknesses.

You might think this sound crazy, well I think so too. Who's stupid enough to think like that? Well honestly I don't believe a word of it, I just wish it was like that. I wanna blame all my problems on something, something that's not my fault. But I'm not sick from some horrible incurable decease. I'm perfectly healthy, ordinary and boring like everyone else, and not to forget over dramatic.

Am I dumb for wishing I suffered from cancer? Yes I'm an idiot, so many people suffer from it, and they wish nothing else than to be free of it. Let me take over please. Cure a pure young girl and infect me instead. Might make me realise, that I'm taking everything I have for granted, but I need that kick. If I'll survive or not, at least I saved a little girl.

These things you can't talk to anyone about, cause appearing selfish is not something you want. Kinda dumb. Do I even know the people I'm surrounded by? If I have these kinda feelings and secrets, what burden do they walk around with on their shoulders? What causes those sad faces, and the bad days? Only us self Knows. But then again, I'm one if a kind, and everyone else's life is a piece of cake. They're probably just depressed cause they forgot to make the English assignment, that's doe to the day. Who knows the truth when everyone keeps their mouth shot? Is there a truth even. Or is our relations built on lies

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I would love to hear your opinions on these very critical, (fictive) mind stream. Comment below and let me know. What's your view of it all? Is there a subject you'd like me to take up and twist and turn. And reflect on? Just ask I'm up for it.