𝗬𝗼𝘂 & 𝗜 [ 𝚀𝚞𝚎𝚎𝚗 & 𝙱𝚘𝚑𝚛𝚊𝚙 𝙸𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜 ] ❜

R.T ~ 2

If you love me, let me go

They warned me. They warned me since the very beginning that'd it end in heartbreak.

"He's a womaniser" they'd say.

"He doesn't do commitment, he won't be loyal." I didn't want to believe them, I refused too. I wanted control of my own actions, my own thoughts. When you're so deeply in love with someone, their mistakes become inconsequential. You are blinded, too blind to see the real truth.

At first I truly believed I'd changed Roger Meaddows Taylor for the good. I convinced myself things would be different this time. Then the late nights started, the drunken escapades, the lies.

"Oh I'm gonna be at the studio late tonight, don't stay up baby." What seems a legit story on the outside, was an intricate overlay of deception in the centre. The moment he walked out the door, I phoned Deaky, the most truthful person I've ever known, and asked what songs they were recording. I remember the exact moment my heart dropped to the bottom of my stomach, as Deaky's sweet voice answered.

"Oh we're not recording tonight Y/N, Brian has a date with Chrissie and I'm spending time with the kids."

I didn't bother questioning Roger when I found him passed out on the couch next morning. In fact, I didn't want too. I never wanted to have to hear him admit it, because that would mean letting him go. However much he cheated and lied, I was still hopelessly, hilariously in love with Roger Taylor. It was the kind of earth shattering love that sometimes kept me up at night crying.

And the worst part about that love? Knowing the man you would literally jump in front of a bus for, would rather die than do the same.

In the early days, my mum would always say to me:

"If Roger truly loves you Y/N/N, he won't cheat. People who cheat clearly aren't happy in their relationship."

Now hearing those words in my head on repeat made my stomach churn. I had to break up with him, but my heart refused to allow my love to subside.

It wasn't until I actually witnessed him cheat on me with my own set of eyes, my feelings were freed. The boys were due back from touring South America that afternoon, and I had been out getting a coffee with Veronica. After dropping my best friend home, I arrived back to see Roger's car already in the driveway.

I feared the worst, but also clung onto the tiny ember of hope he'd come home for me. That he loved me as much as I loved him.

But there he was, that blonde haired angel buried face deep in the arms of a devil. I gasped, which drew the lovers attention to my presence. Rogers expression shifted guilty, and he pulled himself off the girls body.

"Y/N, fucking hell, I can explain-" I scoffed loudly.

"Be my guest. I'm sure whatever you come up with will be completely believable." He rolled his eyes.

"Yes it will, if you actually just shut your smart mouth for one bloody minute!" There it was. The proof I needed. He truly didn't love me. I turned on my heel and ran out the door, groaning when I heard his footsteps following me.

"Y/N, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that, I didn't mean-"

"Oh no Roger I think you've made it perfectly clear what your explanation is. I want you out of here!" He gasped and shot me a glare.

"You can't kick me out of my house!"

"Can't I? Because I think I just did. Now fuck off Roger Taylor and never come back!" Clearly I hadn't been authoritative enough, as the blonde refused to move. His expression was neutral, and he didn't utter a word.

"Did you listen to a word I just said? We're done, this is over, you need to go!" After a while, he spoke up, making tentative steps towards me.

"I-I'm sorry Y/N, I truly am, I never intended for it to go this far, and I definitely never meant to hurt you."

"That's bullshit Roger. If you didn't want to hurt me you wouldn't have done it in the first place!" He laughed rather ironically I imagine, ruffling his hair frustratedly.

"You're right, you're absolutely right. Which is why I need you to hear me out."

"I'm not like other girls Rog, there is nothing you could possibly say to me right now that is going to make me take you back."

"Good, because I don't want you to take me back!" The world stopped spinning for a brief second, and I braced myself for the inevitable words that would follow.

"Y/N, I haven't been in love with you for a very long time, and I know I'm such a dick for leading you on, but I truly thought by not telling you I was sparing your feelings. Now I realise I was wrong."

"I know you don't love me." His eyes widened slightly.

"What?"

"Believe it or not I actually have a few brain cells of my own. I've always loved you more than you loved me, and ultimately that was our downfall." He nodded in mutual agreement.

"I'm not saying I never want to see your face again, or even go back to being friends eventually, but I'm done keeping up a pretence, and lying to myself. My love ran dry a while ago now." Though I knew it was coming, somehow hearing it in the voice that meant the world to me brought it home rapidly, and a sob wracked my trembling body.

"Please don't cry, fuck I hate crying!" I let out a watery bitter laugh.

"What do you want me to do? Break out into a happy jig? Just because you fell out of loving me doesn't mean it went both ways Roger. This fucking hurts." He sighed helplessly, rubbing his eyes wearily.

"I really don't know what else to say, but, there is someone out there for you. You're an amazing girl, and one day soon you're gonna find a man who will devote his entire life you. I'm sorry I can't be that person."

"I'm gonna miss you so much Rog, there's no point in denying that." He smiled sadly and wrapped his arms around me tentatively, rubbing my back.

"You don't have to deny it, but, for both of our benefits, Y/N you have to let me go, and that's not a question, that's an order." I shook my head frantically, my breathing erratic.

"What if I'm not ready to let you go?" He put his hand on my cheek, wiping away a tear with the pad of his thumb.

"For what it's worth, Y/N, if you ever loved me, ever truly loved me, you'd let me go." I looked down at the ground, inhaling sharply a few times.

"Please Y/N." I waited a few more seconds before pulling away, and stepping back from my former boyfriend's figure. He gave me a grateful nod, reaching round to take the girls hand who had finally come out of the house. A smirk played on her lips.

"Goodbye Y/N." He didn't wait for a response, and I was left, broken and alone in my driveway, heart shattered on the floor.

"Bye Roger. I loved you, and I let you go."

Hi everyone! That was a lil different from how I usually write, so I hope u enjoyed! I certainly enjoyed writing it, though I was crying a lil bit.
Xxx