Billboards and Benches

Chapter 39

December tenth

She listens to his breathing holding her head tight in his chest. She doesn't want him to wake up but he will. She doesn't want him to leave but he will and she told him to. She let him go so he'll take his opportunity and walk out. "Go back to bed." He whispers kissing her forehead as he stands up. He turns on the lamp and she sits watching him. She never actually wanted him to go. She thought if she gave him the option is she let him leave he wouldn't. She thought he would stay home and tell her that he didn't need it because he had her and that she was enough.

"When will you be back? What time can I count on you being home by?" She blinks and he sighs sitting next to her. He doesn't honestly know. He'll tell her he might be back for dinner but then something will happen so that he isn't. He'll tell her he'll be home late and then he gets home early. No matter what happens she's mad at the outcome. She hates that he decided to run off and risk his life for something that seems so stupid now.

"I don't know." He whispers pulling her in close. "I found out if I move on or not today." He explains and she nods though she doesn't want to hear it. If he moves on it's another step towards him getting deployed. He'll get his army clothes and maybe even his platoon that she doesn't want to see him in.

"Will you just stay home? Tell them you're sick?" She nods and he shakes his head.

"I'm expected to be there no matter what my love." He could tell her the story of the man he's training with right now who had to quit last year at a much higher level because he got the stomach flu and though he tried to push through the medics took him out and he was dropped.

"You're coming home tonight right?" She did her research she knows that soon enough he has to spend a whole week training. They'll fly him out somewhere and he will spend one whole week out there without her. She won't see him, she won't know where he is and she won't hear from him. If he can manage then he'll get deployed.

"Yes and if I make it tonight I move on into hell week." He explains checking the time. "Dylan," he offers a gentile sigh.

"Good luck." She offers a firm nod pressing her lips against his. "I love you so much, please be careful." She hugs him for only a few seconds before he has to move out of her grip.

"I love you baby girl." He hums pressing his lips on her forehead. "I will see you later."

...

"I got chosen!" He smiles bursting through the door. Dylan jumps flinging her fork across the kitchen at his sudden appearance. She isn't used to seeing him for dinner so she prepared her own meal and left a plate in the oven for him. "Can you believe it baby girl they chose me!" He smiles lifting her out of her chair and kissing her. She fakes her smile though the new is almost the most painful thing she's ever heard. Her boyfriend has been selected to join the military and she hasn't seen him this happy in a while. She has to pretend that she's okay with his revelation.

"Congratulations!" She nods as he sets her down. She now has to endure one week without him before he gets his assignment and then she'll have to endure months is not years without the man she loves by her side.

"I know it's a big step love but," he pauses and looks her over. "Let's get married today. Let's go to the courthouse and get married!" He smiles. She's been telling him about how desperately she wants a big wedding. They've been planning and planning but they can't ever agree on what kind of wedding they want. She has binders full of ideas and he has his own binders as well. She doesn't want to elope.

"Shawn," she sighs as does he. He doesn't have the heart to tell her that she can't be his person if they aren't married.

"If we're married then you can come with me!" He smiles pulling her in close. "They might make me relocate and if we're married then you get to be with me." He explains and she sighs leaning against his shoulder. He won't tell her that he doesn't know if he'll be able to call if they aren't married. He can't tell her that she won't get the news if he dies. He can't break her more than he already has he promised James he wouldn't. He promised not to break her again.