The Fears That Bind Us {Completed}

Chapter 5

(Back to Alyssa's POV):

I felt like a weight was dropped on my shoulders.

She didn't mean that, did she?

One thing that had always kept me going when I was little was knowing that maybe my big sister was out there, planning to come and save me. On my worst days, I always imagined she would show up at my front door, a smile on her face and say, "Let's get you out of here."

My lower lip trembled, but I swore I wouldn't cry anymore. You can't rely on her. You can't rely on Dad. The only person you can rely on is yourself.

I stood up tall and rubbed my bloodshot eyes roughly. You don't need her to save you. Save yourself.

I marched back into the building. I didn't think I could ever fully forgive her for leaving.

Who leaves their seven year old sibling behind?! Especially when she knew what Dad was capable of.

Another emotion kept intruding, and I hated it. I wished I could erase it. Admiration. As much as it hurt that she left me, I guess a part of me always admired her for escaping the hopeless life we lived.

That doesn't excuse what she did though.

She was a brave coward. A living, breathing oxymoron. It amazed me that she was somehow the strongest and weakest person I knew. She was brave for escaping, but a coward for leaving me behind.

I never thought I'd be brave enough to do the same. I couldn't ever be brave enough to leave on my own.

Could I?

I gulped down my fear as I settled on an answer to that question.

I'll just have to find out.

I found Austin laughing with Taylor in the crowd and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Austin, can you please give me a ride home?" I interrupted. One look at my puffy eyes, and he quickly excused himself from their conversation.

"What's going on? Are you okay?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowed with concern.

"I'm fine, I just want to go home now." He gave me a look and I rolled my eyes.

"We had an argument, I don't really want to talk about it." His mouth set in a hard line, but he respected my choice and grabbed his keys off of the counter.

The ride to my house was a silent one, and I appreciated that he didn't ask me questions. It gave me time to clear my head.

...................................

It was dark by the time we reached our destination. As soon as we pulled up to the house and I saw the empty driveway, I sighed with relief. Dad's not home.

"Thanks for the ride," I told him, unbuckling my seatbelt.

"No problem, and Ally?" He hesitated for a moment before his eyes met mine.

"Be careful," he said with a sad smile. I nodded solemnly before shutting the door and walking up the driveway and into the house.

As soon as I closed the door, I started packing my things into my school backpack, my heart racing. Dad wasn't home yet, but I knew he'd be home soon.

If Amber could get out and make a new life, then I can too.

As I packed my things away, my hands trembled. What if he catches me? What if he comes home early? I started to feel nauseous and I was shocked to find that I was having a hard time breathing. My heartbeat pounded loudly in my ears.

This is a bad idea.

He'll find me if I run.

But, if you don't leave now, you never will.

I wanted to scream and lash out.

I felt like I couldn't control my own mind. Part of me wanted to be brave and leave, and part of me was deathly afraid to go.

I guess I'm a brave coward too. Just like Amber.

I sucked in a deep breath and shook my head, forcing the doubts and worries out of my mind.

Focus.

I didn't even know what I planned on doing once I got out, but that didn't matter now.

Maybe Amber or Austin could take me in? I shook my head to clear the ridiculous thought from my mind.

Don't rely on them. Rely on yourself.

All that mattered was making sure I had what I needed to survive on my own.

I wonder if my sister felt this same overwhelming terror when she was escaping. I was lost in my thoughts until a noise made my blood freeze.

He can't be home this early. There's no way.

Hi! Hope you liked this chapter, sorry to leave you with such a cliffhanger! Any guesses on what happens next? Feel free to comment, I love hearing feedback! See you Wednesday for another update!! Have a great Memorial day, and happy reading!

~Familyluv4