Park y/n...thats my name, im 18 years old and lived at an apartment that my big sister owns. Our mom was really sick so she had to leave us to japan for her treatment, our dad was a really busy rich man so he bought an apartment and made my sister as the owner, she became really successful her name "park kiyo" was literally everywhere sometimes i even make fun of her...i have a little sister who's 3 years younger than me, we were really close but her boyfriend made her think that he was all that she needs so she decided to live with him and never came back.
You dont know how much sadness i saw in my moms eyes when she heard that but now everything seems fine, we're all just distant.
Im at second grade in highschool and was the type of person who loves to be alone but beside that i actually have a lot of friends...well...guy friends to be exact the most closest are johnny, jaehyun, renjun, jeno, and mark. Since little i wasnt a very girly type but also wasnt a tomboy but you can say im boyish anyways lets stop right here because thats too much information.
Everything started when the school announces that we were going on a school trip for 10 days. Because of how little the students there are (like around 40) we all have our own rooms, I ended up almost being at the edge but mark was like at the really edge, so from the edge to the main hall (right to left) it was mark, johnny, me, haechan, and then mei the bitch that everyone hates.
I didnt really care cause most of my friends are boys so yea, as the days go by the activities also goes on the more hour i spent the more tired and weak i got and then after it was all done i was so pale and everyone was like "dude tf happend to u, u good bruh?" and ofc being the stubborn af me i said "yea chill bruh i just look like shit, nothing else".
When i was walking down the hall i seriously wanted to puke or faint but i holded in and just ran to my room and locked the door, as i was about to go to my bathroom which was right beside my bed i literally tried all my best to stand up but well...i fell and i was just there laying on the floor looking like a lifeless body and was thinking
"why now?...yes i know this is a hidden part of me where im weak and sick and just so lifeless but why now? Can it just be-" my thoughts were cutted by someone knocking the door
"yo, its mark. I saw that you looked pale so i came here since i was a part of the medical extracurricular and also is your friend too so im checkin' up on you"
i sighed and thought "he's too nice to me..." he knocked again and i realized i didnt answer or reply back to him so i tried all my best to stand up and all i did was fell so i went to the bathroom (cause the bathroom was so close to the door) and flushed the toilet and said "Bro not now, girl problems yo" i lied as always...
then i can hear a sigh from him well i cant hear it clearly but i know he sighed.
"kay imma go to my room, if you need anything just text me or knock on my door"
i actually feel bad tbh but i had to be strong since at middle school i showed my weak side and everyone tried to take advantage of me so yea i have trust issues especially when it comes to girls and because of my trust issues i didnt trust my feelings or a word which was called love anymore cause i know i'll just messed up all over again.
After a few seconds i heard marks footsteps walking back to his room. It was night and it was dinner time, i didnt eat even if i was hungry because ya know the typical me.
The dorm was empty and the hallway was so quiet but i still can hear people talking or laughing at the main hall cause its quite close to the rooms.
i was at the edge...at the balcony that was full of flowers...watching the moon...
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i was about to go and see the stars but sadly there were no stars so i just sat there looking at the moon secretly talking to it inside my head "i shouldnt be my old self...im hurt and i cry everyday but thats the least i can do to ease the pain by myself, thank god i have no roomate..they'll know what i do all day...especially about the..." i stopped thinking for a while
"nightmare..."
I didnt know why i said that under my breath and i didnt think about anything else except the nightmare
"what nightmare?" someone said that and i was startled and ready to punch that person but when i looked back it was johnny so i sigh in relieved
"you dumbass, you scared the hell out of me bruh" johnny was chuckling while i just smile so i sat back and looked back to the moon again, johnny was sitting beside me and he looked like he was going to say something
"i heard a few girls talking about mark waiting infront of your room and they were also talking about how stupid you are for not answering the most handsome kid at school...i knew that cause im literally your room neighbour but...i feel like i need to know something cause i heard a few bangs before mark went to your room so tell me"
my heart stopped for a while, i was sweating real bad, "shit" i thought to myself. I tried to make up an excuse "there was a crockroa-" my words got cut because johnny putted his hands on top of my left shoulder and told me "go to my room, 10.30 pm, dont forgot"
after saying that he left to go hangout with the others, tbh i was shocked and confused but i just nodded.
