Rogues Wolf End~(McKayla Series Book 2)

Chapter 7~Internal Struggle

Mckayla

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  Last night could not wash out of my mind. The pain that my pack had endured...how could I possibly take their pain away. Since being here, this pack has lost so much.

   General only came after this pack because of me; end result losing my grandmother and one to betrayal. Now, Rogue; her father Sal, and a bunch of vicious bloodthirsty rogues were now trying to destroy what happiness I had left.

   What was left of the pack slept in the underground bunks as Nina tried to nurse them back to full health.

   I closed my eyes reliving the moment I jumped down into this underground shed. All that filled my nostrils was blood, pain, and grief. Fear was undeniable in their weak eyes. My daughter cried in my arms for what felt like hours, until she fell asleep.

   I laid Kaylee gently in a corner as she still slept, sitting beside her. My eyes felt heavy from the tears I still hadn't shed. I didn't know how to give myself permission to cry. I forced each injured Were to shift in and out, helping them heal faster. We lost several members of our pack so far. I still couldn't believe Malcolm was dead. He seemed to stubborn to die.

   Nina was over by Sonia who still hadn't stopped crying. Bran was barely hanging on as if his life seemed to dangle by a strand. He was only able to shift once and I had already used some of my abilities to try and heal a few, draining my energy.

   I stood shakily, dragging my feet along the hard soiled ground. I was tired and we had been down here for several hours.

   I looked over to Sara cuddled with my sister, who was asleep. Rachel was far too weak to shift wolf, so her healing process was significantly slow.

   Rachel took one of the worst attacks. Her arm had been partly amputated as a rogue tried ripping her arm off and she had deep laceration all over her body.

   I just stared at her a long time, blinking only a few times. She could die still. Then I realized something that I never thought before.

   I was numb to all of this. My emotions checked itself out as if my lease for it had been up and expired. I stared but felt nothing. I sighed turning my head away. Something was coming over me. For the first time I wanted to feel all of this. Feel the pain and fear of losing someone.

   I didn't feel normal. This feeling I wanted to run to was something I use to want to stay far from.

   I begged my wolf silently to let me feel just a little.

  'You will hurt...if you feel.' I heard a whisper in my head and knew it was my wolf.

   I didn't care. I wanted to feel for once. I snarled as I ambled to my sister. I moved down to my knees, bending close to Rachel.

   I glared down at her as if staring would get me to feel something. "Please..." I whispered begging my wolf.

   Sara moved, looking up at me but I said nothing. I continued to stare at my sister. My hair slipped out of my ponytail, hovering over my face as I bent over her. "Please..." I didn't know what else to do but beg; plead.

   "Please...what?" Sara asked confused by my entire demeanor.

   I didn't acknowledge Sara. At this moment, I regretted never finishing Sal off. I let my love for Rogue stop me from trying to kill him a second time. Truthfully, I could have succeeded the first time.

   Ultimately, I did this. "Let me feel," I growled lowly to my wolf.

   At this moment I could feel my wolf stir angrily as if trying to make a decision to give me back control over my emotions. I hated this internal struggle.