close as strangers | calum hood

twelve

Jaden

After a while, all four boys came up from the basement after their rehearsal. They stood at the top of the stairs, watching me as I sat with the glass of water in front of me.

"You okay?" Ashton asked.

I nodded without a word.

"It's getting late, you guys should go." Calum said. The four boys nodded in agreement.

"Goodnight Jaden!", "See you later, Jade!", "Later Jader!" The boys called. I returned their farewells and watched as Calum walked them out the door. Soon enough, he returned to me in the dining room.

"Wanna go to our spot?"

I smiled weakly and stood. Calum began walking upstairs and I followed him into his room. It had been a while since I was in his room, but it felt like it didn't change at all.

I stood in the middle of the room, my eyes looking back and forth between his closet and the window, which lead to the chilly night air. Calum chuckled as he watched me, "What?"

"Can I borrow a sweater?"

"I better get it back."

"You will."

"Yeah right." He scoffed and grabbed the fleece blanket he always brings me. I made my way to his closet, looking around at his clothing before choosing a forest green hoodie that had the word empathy written across the chest. I slipped the sweater over my head and allowed it to fall over my body. I was engulfed in his scent, which only made me love the sweater more. I turned and smiled up at Calum, who was watching me the entire time.

"I love that sweater, I better get it back." He frowned.

I giggled, "I quite like it, too."

He smiled at me, "I like it on you." Then lifted the glass window and climbed out onto the roof. I turned off the lights in his room and followed his lead. I crawled out and took a seat on the platform beside Calum. He laid the fleece blanket over my lap and sighed.

"Sorry for making you cry."

I shook my head, "The song just made me emotional."

"Why?" He asked.

"I guess it reminded me of the heartbreak I went through when you guys first left. I wanted you to go on that tour because it was an amazing opportunity, but I couldn't help but feel broken. The communication wasn't easy, either. The song just reminded me of it all." I explained.

"I think it also reminded me of how hard it was to be without you and the guys. You were my only friends, after all. I had to go years on my own."

"I know," Calum frowned, "I'm sorry I've been a shitty friend."

"I forgive you." I said in a low voice.

"To be honest," Calum started to say. "It was never intentional. I just got so caught up in the life I was living. Writing songs, recording, going to meetings, events, shows, meet and greets, it was all so overwhelming. I was meeting so many people who told me they loved me, or that I saved their lives. It's very touching, but after all of that, I just wanted to be alone. Or with the boys. I wanted to be lowkey when I wasn't out doing those public events. I'm so sorry that I didn't think of you on my off days."

"Don't apologize," I shook my head. "I feel like if I was important enough, you would have remembered."

Calum frowned, "Jaden, you are so important to me. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed, things slip my mind. But that doesn't mean you aren't still in my heart."

I bit my lip, suddenly realizing his point.

"You shouldn't put all the blame on me. You never hit me up, either." Calum muttered.

I laughed at his comment, "Because you never told me when you were back in town. I never knew when to hit you up. What if you were in Canada and I was like Calum, wanna hang out today?"

"Oh, you're right." Calum laughed.

The laughter died down and we were sitting in silence, looking up at the sky.

"I wanna be better to you." He said, breaking the quiet air between us. I looked over at Calum. His eyes were flickering around the view in front of us and he was biting his lip as if he wanted to say something, but wasn't sure if he should say it.

"Tell me what's on your mind." I said in a reassuring tone.

"We've known each other for 20 years," Calum began to say. "I'm 25 now, and I think it's safe for me to admit everything to you, Jaden. But since we were teenagers, I've been in love with you. You're honestly the perfect girl for me. They way you know me inside and out, we have the same humour, same hobbies and likes, yet you still introduce me to new things. I feel like we're on the same wavelength. I look at you and think God, this girl is perfect, and I'm in love with her."

I looked up at him. Calum's eyes were elsewhere but me, maybe because he was too nervous to look at me. Despite our lack of visual contact, I admitted "I'm in love with you."

The words caused Calum to look down at me. He smiled brightly, "Yeah?"

"Yeah." I nodded, confirming his question.

"I don't know how this is going to work, Jaden. I keep leaving. I have another tour coming up soon" Calum groaned.

I nodded in agreement, "I know. I don't want to do long distance. I feel like for now, we have to wait it out."

He frowned, "But what if one of us loses feelings?"

"Then it was never meant to be."

My words hit both of us like a truck. Two trucks. Because we knew it was true. I looked at the boy, who now had a sad expression written on his face.

"Don't think about that now," I said and brought my hand to the back of his neck. I ran my fingers through his hair in a soothing motion. "Every time you leave, just know I'll always be here waiting for you."

He smiled at me for a brief moment, before leaning in and placing his plump lips on mine. I wrapped my other hand around his neck, and Calum's hands found my waist. Using his strength, he pulled my body onto his lap so I was straddling him. Our lips moved in sync, as if we were dancing under the stars. My heart raced as his hands roamed my back. With the growing area of touching, I pulled away.

Calum looked at me with a raised eyebrow, "Is everything okay?" He asked.

"I just don't wanna move too fast. I literally just forgave you." I explained.

"You're right, we'll take it slow." He nodded.

I smiled, "Thank you."

"So, we're gonna wait for each other, right?" He asked.

I nodded, "Only if you keep your promise this time."

He assured me, "I will."

We'll see.