Scoliosis: My Story

Chapter 39

Hiiiiiiiiiii.

Alright so I know this book is pretty much like dead and stuff, but I like writing here from year to year so here I am.

So. The brace is gone. Unlike my twin I didn't cry. It was more like a small smile. It was hard. Getting used to life without the thing. It's a good thing I got it off, cuz otherwise I don't think I would've survived the heat.

So this, or I should say last, summer my friends and I volunteered at a summer reading program at our local park. It went like this. Those under 18 got free lunch from the nearby school. We had a blanket and chairs and read books provided by the school. Then if a kid wanted one we simply gave it to him. It was a lot of fun and I got like 50 community service hours. But boy was it hot. I think I would've died of heat stroke if I still had my brace.

Now it's been awhile so I'll walk you through my life since the last time I updated-in chronological order of course.

Alright, so for our birthday my twin and I and our summer reading friends plus our cousins went to watch Spider-Man:Far from Home. Turns out one friend from the group liked me. I liked him back but then he changed his mind and went for my twin. We both agreed he's just a friend, he doesn't know we know. We got to do our birthday tradition with our dad, tho he fell asleep.

We went on the road trip, but had to change course and stay in a hotel with pools because it was cold. Our parents fought bad but made up.

I passed 3 of 4 AP tests. I didn't pass Euro. I'm honestly surprised that I passed Bio, but I feel more confident in my career choice-ER Physician. I passed Both Spanish's, so those tests plus the sat subject Spanish test mean that I am more than certified as a bilingual person.

School started and I became a Junior. An upperclassmen. It felt great. Tho it was intimidating because I was officially an IB student. My first 3 classes are 2 year courses. I'm taking IB spanish this time, sadly. IB Psych should be interesting. I took one AP, AP Physics. More on that nightmare later.

The school year was fun. We were planning a trip to Guatemala so we got our passports renewed. I saw my birth certificate for the first time, and my whole life is a lie. Turns out I was born at 2:17 NOT 1:30. So this year my twin and I have to stay up later. The plans fell through because of money.

We started confirmation class-our final year. We started working on the Christmas play with our church group. I was the voices, as always, and this year my twin was my co-narrator.

My brother did end up coming back from Alaska. He visits often.

Being in the last year of confirmation class means my twin and I aren't gonna be able to be child lector's at church anymore. We have to decide now what we wanna do. I'm thinking Eucharistic minister, but adult lector and altar server also seem appealing.

We chose our padrinos for confirmation. A lovely couple from church we met through the child lector program. We went to eat with them. My new Nino cried when we asked. We did it one day after community service helping them with their faith formation classes.

I forgot to mention, we went back to our favorite teacher. He was our beginning art and advanced art teacher back in middle school. For IB we have to do CAS, Creativity, Activity, and Service. For the c my twin, best friend (who also had him), and I asked if we could paint one of his ceiling tiles. He agreed. It's been fun.

We started 7th period. A class called theory of knowledge held two times a week. It sucked. 

My uncle retired from the marines after 30 years. That ceremony was cool and emotional. The party was lit.

We hound another church group. We only got to attend one letting tho. Now we attend the virtual ones.

My dad went to Guatemala by himself in March. Then Covid19 hit the US and he barely made it back before they declared that if you were coming to the US you'd have to be in quarantine.

School got cancelled. First until April six. Then till April 30. Then the year got cancelled. IB exams were cancelled. I had to do my IB Spanish oral interview through zoom. It's May 27, so I guess you could say I'm a high school senior now.

I took my AP Physics 1 test. I hated that class. The teacher was the best, he even sat my twin and I together in the very front-while everyone else was given a random seat. But I was just NOT interested in the stomach. I ended up with an 85 in the class when school was cancelled. But I've managed to bring up to a 90. My math grade was a b two, but now it's a 91. Meaning I might just close the year off with straight A's.

I am now number two in my grades ranking. My twin is number one. I guess you could say it's a twin takeover.

I started this book when I was 12. Barely beginning my own scoliosis journey. But know I'm turning 17 come July. And while my scoliosis journey will last my whole life, I don't need a brace anymore. I'm free. I'm finally free. Thank you. Thank you for reading. I learned so much in all this time. I've got new problems now, and old ones have been resolved.  Now, to be honest, life isn't great. Sure I can put this chapter of my life, the scoliosis chapter, out of the way, but I'm not ok. I'm living with a constant ringing in my ears. And idk. I guess I should make a tinnitus book lmao. I'm scared. I'm scared that when I'm old I won't be able to hear or see. That I'll be in constant pain and that I won't be able to walk. My hearing isn't good. No one gets it, but every time I can't hear what my twin said or what someone said I get scared. If im not looking at you talk it's hard to hear you. I'm scared that one day in the future, I really won't be able to hear.

I wish life wasn't so hard. School is hard. Making people proud is hard. I feel like I'm nothing. Like everything I'm doing is just a waste of time. But I have to keep going. I'm just so tired. Tired of people calling me dumb and useless.

If anyone I know is reading. Please don't make me feel dumb. I can't turn the stove on because I'm scared I'll get yelled at again and that kind of makes me blank. I can't find things because every time I'm already getting yelled at for not finding it. So I blank and feel like crying. When you cuss at me when I get things wrong I feel like crying every time. That's why I hate cussing. Because it sounds so intense and hard. Like a slap in the face.

So. I'm done with this journey. But obviously I have plenty more to go through. I hope I can finish those too.

Bye