A bump by the shoulder. That’s how we met. I had just finished shopping and I was ready to get out of the freezing weather. If you asked me why I went so far away after high school, I could give you a list of reasons—and the cold would be one of them. My fingertips had gotten to the point where they were numb to the touch. I was waiting outside for my ride to come. Late, as usual. I wasn’t looking where I was moving. There was a huge Christmas tree decorated outside and I just had to try to see the big star way on top. In this town, the sky was always pitch black. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I went away too. I wanted to see big, shining stars across the whole sky; like the one I was trying to see on the tree. When I bumped into him, at first I was annoyed. Playing it off and walking away seemed like a good idea. But, underneath the dark blanket of the night, I could see his face. Just a little, though. It was enough to see the radiance from the lights reflecting off of his face. He was looking up at the star too.
“Isn’t it beautiful?”
He looked startled. Like he didn’t even notice that I had been there—which I’m sure he didn’t in that moment. He was always dreaming wherever he went. At least, that’s what I thought. No words. He just grinned really wide, nodded his head, and childishly threw his head back to look at the lights again. Seeing his smile, I couldn’t help but laugh and smile too.
He looked back, surprised. “What’s so funny?”
I looked back up at the star. “Nothing. I just really like your smile.”
I loved to act. And the word love is an understatement. Being able to be someone else, even if it was only to perform for a mere couple of nights, gave me this incredible, natural high that couldn’t compare to anything else. But the thing that really captured me was the process of it all; the part where the script was made, where the cameras were filming. I wanted to express myself in front of a huge audience. I wanted to create something beautiful that would be shared at the cinemas. I think that’s why I came back. I lost myself. When I went out beyond the boundaries where I could no longer fall back onto safe hands, I’d been paralyzed. I couldn’t do it anymore. It was too hard. But this morning, something hit me. Maybe it was the way the sun was shining earlier today. Or the way the traffic outside my window didn’t seem as scary or as confining. It hit me. I had to retrace my steps. Go back to where I had started. I grabbed my coat, got in my Corolla, and started driving to the star.
The only other thing I loved more than the stage was a boy. He wasn’t much for drama or speaking in front of a big crowd for that matter, but he was always there to listen. When I’d hear my parents fighting again, I’d call, and he’d always be there. Sometimes, he didn’t even say anything. He just sat there and nodded his head to show that he was taking it all in. One night though, life had seemed good for once. We were at the huge field right by the forest on top of a blanket we had laid out on the grass. My head was on his lap, and his hands stroking the side of my face until he started to play with my hair. Usually, we sat there in silence—both looking up into the darkness, trying to see if there existed a glint of brightness. I didn’t mind the silence. It wasn’t an awkward one like most people would think of it. It hung there around us comfortably. It felt amazing to be able to share it with someone. But in that moment, I summoned up the nerve to break it.
“Hey, you.”
He smiled a little, hands still playing by the tips of my hair. “Hm?”
I closed my eyes and took a big breath. When I opened them, I wasn’t just focused on him. I was staring past him, up into the everlasting night sky. “Where do you think we’ll be five years from now?”
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Kısa HikayeA girl leaves behind her one love to pursue being on the stage. But when reality sinks in, she frantically drives to the place where they had first met in hopes of sparking something inside of her that she was inspired by before. On the ride back ho...