Just Pretend, cb {completed}

79

*stars*

"Hey, you." Eben leans down, peering in through the window of my car. I roll the window down completely, smiling at him weakly.

"Hey." I clear my throat. We're at the beach, they didn't trust me to be alone but i can't even be bothered to get up out of bed, they shouldn't be worried about me trying to take pills.

"The sea's pretty warm." He rubs his lips together, i look out to the ocean waves crashing against each other, people playing in the water or running around on the sand. "Want to go for a dip?"

I look down, "No." I don't want to do anything to be honest, i just want to sleep.

I'm beyond hurt.

"You know where to find me if you ever decide to get some vitamin C on your skin." He smiles, which made me crack a smile.

"It's vitamin D, not C." I correct him, looking into his eyes.

"I knew that... Just saving this vitamin D for later." He winks, which made me let out a genuine laugh. He smiles at me laughing for the first time in a week. "For real, come on... We can even go 'kini shopping."

It's a nice day out but i just don't feel like doing anything. "I'm good, thank you though." I rub my chapped lips together, rolling the window back up. He hesitantly walks away and lean the chair back a little, setting my phone on the stand and playing some documentary on space.

The guy was rambling on about how one day in space is about ninety minutes. Then i got flashbacks of all the space talk Corbyn used to give me.

—

"The reason they're called dwarf planets is because they're so small." Corbyn lays across the couch, spinning a 3D model of pluto in his hands.

"Pluto was a planet once though, how come it isn't now?" I frown, genuinely confused.

He leans forward, "Well, because Pluto is a dwarf planet. It is a planet but because of how small they are, they can't be classified as normal planets, hence the dwarf planet motto."

I look at him, still confused. A planet is a planet. If NASA finds a planet, they should introduce it as a planet... because it's a planet. Doesn't matter if it's small or not.

"I don't understand." I scrunch my face up, pushing myself up. He lets out a small chuckle, knowing no matter how hard he tries to explain it to me, it'll never process through my brain.

"Do you want a cool star fact?" He lays his head down back on my knee. I love watching him get excited over things that excite him. It brings me contentment.

"Sure." I run my fingers through his hair.

"In our galaxy alone, the Milky Way, Theres an estimated off 100-400 billion stars." He smiles, almost not believing the fact himself. "And that's just in our galaxy alone, nevermind the other ones."

"Did NASA count them all individually?" I chuckle a little, looking all around his face.

"Estimated was the key word there baby." He raises his eyebrows, "Want to go stargazing one day?" He asks. It's been on my bucketlist since forever.

"I can't belive you actually have to ask that, of course i want to go stargazing." I scoff, running my thumbs across his perfectly defined face.

"I know a couple good spots where the sky's clear, i'll take you one day, hire a truck, spend the night stargazing while stuffing our face with pizza in the back of a truck." He looks into my eyes, his eyes sparkling as if they were stars.

"Only if we get to play our playlist in the background." I continue to run my fingers through his hair.

He smiles, "Of course." There was a knock on the door that caught both of our attention, Ashley walking in.

"Hey, hate to break your little... talk." She points to us, "But Corbyn, your management is here."

Corbyn rolls his eyes, getting up. He'll be away for a week in Brazil. How i love that.

"See me off?" He raises an eyebrow. I nod my head yes and he grabs his jacket. We follow Ashley down the stairs where his management was waiting around.

"Everything's already packed, let's go." Mikey claps his hands. Corbyn looked towards me, giving me his 'i'm sorry' look. I smile at him to say 'it's okay' and open the front door for all of them.

All his management leave the house and get in the car, Corbyn walking over. "I'll call you as soon as i land." He pushes his lips on mine.

I kiss him back but pull away, not wanting to keep him too long. "I love you, land safe." I mutter quietly.

"I love you too, baby." He rubs his nose against mine. I smile and push him away gently. He turns his back towards me but then just stops, turning around and walking back.

"When you fall asleep tonight." He cups my cheeks on his large hands, "Remember that we lay under the same stars." He looks up at the night sky. Never Be Alone.

"I'll see you in a week, with a truck." He pecks my lips again, running off to the back of his SUV.

He rolls his window down and points up at the stars, winking and blowing me a kiss as the car drives off.

—

I snap myself back into reality, moving my eyes away from the same spot off the car floor. We never got round to stargazing, or kissing in the rain. Bet he's probably did them numerous times with Christina.

I felt my cheeks start to heat up, my breathing slowly increasing. This would've been a lot easier if he just told me the truth from the start.

I have all his stupid promises laced throughout my mind. All his stupid plans still on my bucket list. All his stupid compliments racing through my head. Why did he have to do this?

I was doing okay, i wasn't on Modafinil for a week and i was starting to feel like myself. I'm thinking about taking it again just so i can pretend that everything is fine. Just so i can pretend that i'm not breaking.

I got frustrated and threw my phone on the floor of the car, my vision becoming blurry from my tears, my skin becoming itchy from the anger i'm feeling. Why does it have to be so hard?

I don't want to do this anymore. I don't wanna feel like this again.

I hit the glovebox, trying to release my anger onto something else other than myself; it's not working.

I repeatedly starting hitting it, crying my eyes out. "Hey... Hey hey, Sierra." The car door opens. I close my eyes shut and just fall into whoever's arms it was.

"Hey, everything going to be okay." Louie's voice bought me a little comfort. "Everything will work out in the end." He whispers.

"Lou, i don't want to do this. I don't want to do this... please." I sob into his shoulder.

"It's okay." He holds the back of my head, gently rocking me back and fourth to try and calm me down.

How could i even be so stupid? I should've known it was all just pretend.

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BITCHES I GOT FUCKING CHOCOLATE ANDJAKDBSKDNJSNDNA IM SO HAPPY. ALSO IM IN A REALLY GOOD MOOD AND WATCHING HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL.

and happy birthday to Hoenah because he's basically a grandpa now