Missing Piece

11. Practise

When I came back with his uniform, Matt was sitting up straight.
The medicine that had made him loosen up, wore off.
"Look, Matt. I've also brought your orange technician kit. It was where we left it." I handed him his clothes.
Matt accepted them and tried to put his blouse over his head, but the moment he lifted his arms, he flinched.
"Do you need any help? I understand that it must still hurt."
Matt shook his head, rather stubbornly. "I don't need help." He tried again, yet he had as much luck as last time.
I stepped closer to the headstrong radar technician and looked directly in his eyes, in attempt to make a point.
"Ehm.. maybe I do need help?" Matt gazed at his lap while he spoke, holding out the piece of cloth.
I fetched his blouse. Carefully, I shove the sleeve around his arm, then the other one.
Matt stared at me as I was aiding him.
  Now, I only had to get his head through the collar and pull his blouse down, while watching out for his glasses. As I dragged his blouse down, my hands slid along his chest. I couldn't help but admire his solid torso.
  Matt was unfamiliar with the pleasant shiver that was sent down his spine.
Something new.
Something he had no control over.
Something he didn't know how to handle.
Something scary.
  Earlier suspicions were confirmed and a wave of insecurity washed over him.
  Feeling Matt's gaze upon me, I struggled to close the buttons. Fidgeting more than was necessary.
  "Stand up." It didn't sound as an order.
  Matt obeyed.
  I took his technician kit.
  He knew what to do and worked along as I shoved the kit over his arms.
  When I closed the buckles, I realised why it looked so clumsy on him.
  The upper clasps weren't able to close, his chest being too broad. That's why it always moved around when Matt walked.
  "This is the biggest size they've got." Matt seemed to have read my train of thought.
  "Oh... how unfortunate." I didn't know what else to say.
  Matt didn't either.
  I checked the kit one last time, awkwardly patting his covered collarbones with both hands once I was finished stalling.
"So, you're done."

  "And why again do you want me to do this? Aren't you supposed to rest or something?"
  Matt had led me to a training room, Kylo Ren's training room. "I uhm want to, you know, teach you how to defend yourself. I heard that you got hurt during your mission."
  "You care about my well-being?" I mused.
  Matt's answer was a tiny smile, directed at his feet.
  My composure relaxed, that was sweet of him, however, I still had my doubts.
"But Matt, aren't you a little... clumsy?"
  Matt took a blaster out of the weapon rack. "As I told you, I'm good with weapons."
  You are stubborn, that's what you are.
  I sighed, I knew that if Matt wanted something, he wouldn't stop before it happened. Well, except from every aspect that has to do with engineering.
  The radar technician had set up three targets. "Watch how I do it."
  I examined the way Matt held the blaster, again, like an expert.
  Then he shot all three of the targets within the blink of an eye. Utmost precision, right in the centre.
  "Wow! Who learned you that?"
  Matt handed me the blaster. "My fat-." He didn't finish his sentence and his face hardened.
  "Do you want to tell me about it?" I offered.
  He shook his head, voice empty. "I'd rather not."
  I accepted his choice. Having seen how he handled pain, I knew this must have been something that haunted him up to this day.
  "If you ever want to talk about it, you know where to find me. I'm always there for you." I smiled softly. "Just so you know."
  Matt's expression softened, and he set the targets back up. "Now it's your turn."

  I tried to hold the blaster like Matt had done, but I couldn't get it right.
  Matt took place behind me and moved my hands to the right spot. "Like this..." His chest touched my back as he placed my arms in the required position, his hair tickling my neck.
  I attempted to stand as steady as possible, but it was hard to focus because of his tickling hair.
  I missed the first shot. Disappointment sneaked its way into my mind.
  "It doesn't matter, try again."
'It doesn't matter.' The familiar, repetitive voice in my head was accompanied by a whiff of delicious confidence.
  I took a deep breath and ignored the ticklish feeling.
The next two shots didn't miss.
  Matt walked back to the targets and placed them up again.
  For whatever reason, unknown to me, I wanted him to be proud of me.
I shot all three targets as fast as I could. I wasn't as quick as Matt, but I wasn't bad for my first time.
"You're a natural. Lets keep practicing until you know how to protect yourself."From behind me, Matt placed his hands on my shoulders. "No one gets to hurt you."