Missing Piece

22. Suffer

  Hux sat in his personal chamber of misery.
  Normally he would hide his feelings and strike back with twice the strength, but for now he allowed himself to suffer.  
Playing on his piano and sipping from his drink, one that's much stronger than last times. He forged powerful plays, filled with pain and emotion, as his body swayed along with every harsh press of keys.
  "She didn't find you?"
  Hux kept playing, not looking towards the source of the robotic voice. "What do you think?" He scoffed. "I don't believe I would still be feeling like this if she had."
  The General's chest rocked forward, hovering closely above the piano as he pressed the keys with the rawest notes, biting his lower lip til it hurt.
  "But how could she have found me?" Self-blame bled through. "No one knows of the existence, let alone the purpose of this room. My burden to shoulder. Mine alone."
  Hux expected a sarcastic childish comment from Ren, but it never came. Instead Hux stood up and walked towards the dark knight. The General was close, the proximity usually only Ren dared to bridge, often when communicating with one of his victims. Chest heaving against chest.
  All of Hux's suffer was gone the second he saw Ren, instead it turned into rage. He would never let Ren have someone like (Y/n), he'd make sure of it.
  "Why did you come here?" Hux's voice sounded bitter. "To glee?"
  A voice left Ren's helmet, a voice the General started to hate more than ever. "You are requested at the bridge. An officer was sent to get you, I decided to be so friendly to take over his hard task. I couldn't let anyone else see you like this." Ren bowed his head closer to Hux's.
  Hux was filled with wrath, how dared he to look down upon him, demean him.
  It's not a smart move, insulting General Armitage Hux when he's on his most vulnerable.
But he didn't let the anger take control of him, something Ren was never able to do, he knew his moment would come.
Instead, Hux's expression turned stoic.
"We'll see who's laughing at the end."
He stepped past Ren and left the room, on his way to the bridge.
  Ren was left alone in the dark room, Hux's words kept repeating in his head. 'We'll see who's laughing at the end...'
Kylo wondered what they meant, there was nothing and no way he could take anything from him.
Right?

(Y/n) POV
  It was the next morning, I hadn't found Hux anywhere last night. I hoped that he wasn't too upset...
  I took a look at my holo-watch, I had the day off, again. I noticed that I had gotten more days off lately.
  To be honest, I felt sort of down myself. Don't get me wrong, I like Matt, but I felt guilty for making Armitage feel upset...
  I really wanted to talk about it with someone, but with who? Armitage is... nowhere to be found, and Matt is... you know, Matt.
  The answer came quicker than expected, someone knocked on the door.
  I almost jumped when seeing Kylo in the doorway.
Didn't expect him, from all people.
  "Ehm, good day Commander. What brings you here?" I noticed that I always got nervous around him, just like Matt towards me.
  "I need your service, if the offer still stands?"
  His voice sounded as unrecognisable as always, I really wondered what I would see if he took his helmet off...
  "Ahem?"
  I ripped out of my thoughts. "Yes, yes of course. How can I be of service?" I sweared that if Kylo hadn't worn a helmet, I would have seen an amused look on his face. I can't help it that he's so intimidating that it makes me nervous.
  "My TIE Whisper is... broken."

  We arrived at his TIE Whisper on the docks.
  "What exactly is broken?"
  Kylo seemed to... shuffle with his feet? "Ehm, you'll see it when you enter..."
  I was confused and surprised by Kylo's sudden shift of attitude. As soon as I climbed into the small cockpit, I saw what he meant.
  Someone had a tantrum.
  The whole control panel was burned, everything pitch black, obviously inflicted by a lightsaber.
  I immediately started to work, I hadn't noticed that Kylo had entered the cockpit and watched me work.
  At some point I had welded everything, I only had to rewire some last things and record voice recognition. "Kylo! I need you to-."
  I suppressed the urge to jump up when Kylo knelt down next to me, very close, since the cockpit was supposed to be for one person only.
  "You need me to?"
  I quickly regained myself. "Voice recognition."
  "Excuse me?"
  "Ehm, your voice, you need to speak into this, you know, for voice recognition." I took a breath. "Just say your name." I held up a small microphone.
  "M- Kylo Ren."
  The microphone spoke back, "Kylo Ren. Confirmed."
  I started to rewire the last calcinator, Kylo still hadn't left my side. "Ehm, you're allowed to go..." I looked up from my work.
  "Do you want me to? I have nothing better to do."
  Maybe ruling the galaxy? No, not?
  "Well... you don't have to." To be honest, I don't know why, but I liked his presence, his dark aura had something soothing. Glad to have him on my side.
  Kylo nodded. "Are you going to rewire the calcinator?"
  I was very surprised. "How did you-."
  Kylo interrupted me, "Matt taught me how."
  I frowned. Matt isn't even able to do it himself.
  Hearing Kylo's next words gave me the feeling he had heard my thoughts and accepted them as a challenge. "I'll show you that I'm able to do it."
  We switched places, which was not possible without the 'awkward' touching, since the cockpit was still extremely small.
  "You go to the left and I go to the-." I lost my balance and fell onto Kylo, which made us both drop towards the floor, he on top of me.
  A little voice in the back of my head told me to remain calm, so I listened. I stared at the complexity of his helmet, at the place where his eyes should be, trying to look through the mask... until Kylo got up.
  I was truly afraid. "I am so sorry, it will never-."
  Kylo held out his hand and helped me on my feet. "It doesn't matter."
Doesn't matter?! Doesn't matter?! People got killed for less. And why the hell does this feel familiar?!
  I handed him the tools. I was even more baffled when he flawlessly rewired the calcinator. I send him a smile. "Wow, you're better at it than Matt." I chuckled. "You should consider a job transfer."
  And that was a mistake.
  "Why? Don't you think I'm a good leader? Do you think Hux should have taken my position instead?" His helmeted face got dangerously close to mine.
  It was very weird, but every time Kylo got 'upset' I was no longer nervous or afraid.
  I automatically placed my hand on his shoulder, my thumb stroking lullingly. "No Kylo, I didn't mean it like that. I only tried to compliment you about how excellently you rewired the calcinator." I flashed my teeth in a sweet smile. "I don't doubt your quality as a leader."
  I felt his shoulder relax underneath my touch.
  I retracted my hand, realising who I was soothing. I got to my feet. "The ship is done."
  Kylo stood up too, we both left the ship.
  I now no longer had a distraction from my problems and felt the urge to talk to someone once again.
  "You're upset." Kylo had sensed my feelings.
  The words left my mouth before realising who I was talking to. "Do you have time to talk? I feel like talking with someone..."
  I expected a harsh no, or even that he would deride me. But no, instead he said a simple, "yes."
  I was surprised yet also grateful. "I need you to make me one promise though, don't tell Matt."

  Kylo knew he should tell her, that it wasn't possible, that she should talk with someone else instead, but he couldn't, not when hearing her hopeless tone. He wanted him to be her saviour.
  "I won't tell a single soul."