Illuminate

Chapter 30- Eva

Saturday 11:30 AM

I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache. I rolled over on my bed and grabbed the water bottle I kept next to it, hoping the water would make me feel better. I took a long sip and grabbed the Tylenol I kept in my drawer, downing two of those as well. I rubbed my head and swung my feet over my bed, cracking my neck. I could not believe what I had done last night. It was all hazy, but I hadn't forgotten the worst parts. I tried to have sex with James and Colton told me I was impossible to love. I knew I was making mistakes, but I just didn't care like I used to. Life goes on.

I hadn't seen my parents since everything went down. I couldn't even imagine what their reaction was going to be. The lying, the drinking, the almost sex. It was probably too much for them to handle. I hadn't seen Colton since he had driven me home either and I had no idea what he had told them, but I was sure it wasn't good. 

I got off of my bed, my head still pounding, and went into the bathroom to take a shower, but noticed vomit on the side of my toilet. I didn't even remember, but I probably threw up last night. I shook my head and grabbed the cleaning stuff I kept under my sink, cleaning up the mess, gagging while I did so.

After scrubbing the toilet for what seemed like an eternity, I knew I still smelled of alcohol and chlorine. My skin itched from the pool water. I hadn't changed last night either, I must have just passed out on my bed. I pulled off the damp clothes I was wearing and turned on the hot water, letting the stream hit me. Looking up at the showerhead, I knew in my heart of hearts the way I had been acting was wrong, but I couldn't stop myself. Drinking washed away the pain, rebelling gave me a new sense of pleasure that distracted me from everything going on.

Once I finished my shower, I towel dried my blonde locks and threw them up into a bun. I whipped on a pair of grey sweats and a royal blue basketball t-shirt, falling onto my bed right after. I heard a faint knock on my bedroom door.

"Come on in," I said softly. To my surprise, it wasn't my parents at the door. It was Colton.

"Hey," he said, sitting at the end of my bed.

"Hi," I said.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Just a headache, but I'm alright," I told him.

"Good. Listen, I have to tell you something," he admitted and I nodded. "Look, I don't know if you remember but I said something last night that should have never come out of my mouth."

"I remember," I expressed quietly.

"Saying you were impossible to love was horrible. I should have never said that, no matter what you did. So I apologize."

"It's okay," I said, looking down.

"No, it isn't. But you have to understand, what you've been doing is not cool. Eva, you can't act like this and not expect repercussions," he reprimanded and I didn't say anything. "I will always love you, no matter what the heck you do. But, I'm going to be straight with you. I told Mom and Dad what happened last night and about the other times you called me to pick you up."

"You told them everything?" I asked, frantically.

"Yes. They needed to hear it and I hope you'll be honest with them. You and I both know the times you asked me to pick up were not the only times you've been loaded the past few weeks," he told me and I looked down. I tried hard to keep my tears in, but I felt them start to drip down. "Please, don't cry, Eva."

"Just go," I said. Unlike usual, he nodded and left the room. I turned on my TV, ignoring my rumbling stomach and how hurt I was. I hoped it would distract me from everything that was going on.

4 PM

After a little while, I knew I wasn't going to be able to ignore my stomach anymore. I hopped off of my bed, appreciating my newly healed ankle, and started briskly walking down the stairs to the kitchen. I heard voices talking softly, but I couldn't quite make out what they were saying. I realized they were coming from the living room, and I realized it was my parents, Colton and Austin, talking without me. 

"Do you really think this is necessary?" I heard Austin ask.

"We really do. We've talked about this a lot, we barely slept last night," my dad said as I peered into the room.

"But, sending her away? Isn't that a little much?" Colton asked. Sending me away? What was going on? I should have just waited, but I felt my feet storming into the living room.

"You're sending me away?" I yelled and everyone's eyes turned to me.

"Eva, go back upstairs. Your mother and I will talk to you soon," my dad dismissed.

"No! Where are you making me go? A freaking boarding school or something?" I screeched.

"Eva, upstairs," my mom said sternly.

"How do you expect me to go to sit in my room and wait for you to come to talk to me when I know what's going on?" I shouted.

"Eva Meredith, you go upstairs this moment," my dad reprimanded. I shook my head and stormed up the stairs. I threw open the door and I fell onto my bed, automatically starting to cry. I knew they were mad, but I never thought they would do something like this. I didn't want to leave, I didn't know how I would. I felt numb, I didn't know how to react and it hurt. It hurt that they were finally giving up on me.

I laid on my bed, motionless, for what felt like five minutes, but when I looked at my clock, I noticed it had been thirty minutes. I knew my parents would be upstairs any minute to talk with me. Not to my surprise, I heard a knock on the door and the knob being turned. I sat up to see my parents at the door.

"Can we talk in our room?" my dad asked and I nodded. I followed them to their bedroom, which was just down the hall and sat at the end of the bed as they sat at the front of it.

"Alright, Eva we would like you to tell us everything you feel you need to own up to right now. Be truthful now, you already know there will be consequences for what we do know and we think it's important to give you the chance to talk to us," my mom said.

"Just don't hold back okay? We promise not to blow up, we're going to talk through all of this," my dad said as I looked down. I knew I just had to be honest. No more lies.

"Well, after Dad came home from the hospital I was feeling so guilty about everything. I knew that everything was my fault and I could tell you guys knew that too. Dad, you weren't talking to me like you were and things just weren't the same, and I get why. But it hurt, and I wanted to distract myself or something. So I started going to parties, letting my grades slip, and lying to you guys about where I was. I was drinking constantly and flirting with random guys. My friends were proud of me, but I knew it was just something I was doing so I would stop thinking about what was going on at home. Rebelling was new for me and to be honest, I liked the sensation I got from doing it. But, this thing with James, I was drunk. But, I knew what I was doing and that it was wrong. I was just broken and sick of everything. I just didn't care anymore," I let out as tears fell down my cheeks. I looked up into my dad's eyes. "Dad, I'm truly sorry for the position I put you in. I know what I did was unforgivable and that I should have just told you about Blake contacting me. And I'm sorry to both of you for lying and drinking and going against what I believe in. I don't want to have sex with some random guy who I don't even care about, it was just another way of distracting myself. And I hate to say that I liked it." My parents looked at each other and I felt myself beginning to fall apart all over again. Before I could, my dad was next to me. He held me and stroked my hair.

"It's going to be okay, my girl. You hear me?" he whispered in my ear. For the first time in almost a month, I felt like my dad and I were connected once again.

"I'm so sorry," I heaved.

"We know you are." My mom said, getting in on the hug. "We know you are."